Colorblind
by MyTwiDreams
Summary: B is forced into a loveless marriage with a rich plantation owner. An unusual friendship between her & a certain slave girl  blossoms but when the lines of friendship start to blur into something more, both of their lives are endangered... /Bellice AU/AH
1. Chapter 1

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Guess, who's back with a new Bellice story for you? I'm not sure whether people will like the idea of this one and I would greatly appreciate your feedback to figure out whether this is worth to be continued. I have so many ideas and some should probably better stay inside my crazy mind.

Firstly, please be aware that this story is in no way historical accurate and as my knowledge about slavery in the US is completely based on nothing but watching some movies it is most likely that I will mess some things up.

Secondly I should probably give you a warning that there are going to be some parts in this story that will be difficult for some to read. They are going to be difficult for me to write too but I like to challenge myself as a writer.

There will be violence, both physical and emotional, racism and sexual assault. However, because I can't write a fluff and lemon-less story-line there will still be enough of that too.

Is anyone still left who is interested in reading the first chapter? You? Fine, that's wonderful. Hope you'll enjoy…

Oh, before I forget. I changed some of the character names in order to make them sound more like slave names but I'm sure it won't be difficult for you to tell who is who.

****Chapter 1****

_Without love, the rich and poor live in the same house_

_(Author unknown)_

The place I was supposed to spend the rest of my life in was breathtakingly beautiful. That fact was undeniable for my tired eyes when I stepped out of the carriage. The hem of my silk dress was crumpled a bit and I quickly tried to flatten it again with my palms to make a halfway reasonable appearance for my future mother in law. She was the one who had arranged this wedding together with my parents and from what my mother had assured me of several times since she had broken the wonderful news to me was that she was a kind and warmhearted person.

"Missy?"

I turned around and automatically took two steps backwards when I gazed into the face of the giant man standing behind me, carrying my two heavy suitcases over his left shoulder as if they were weightless.

He was the tallest man I had ever seen – black or white and a shiver of fear instantly went down my spine. Then he grinned and my fear of him vanished almost completely. Of someone who could grin so sheepishly like that you didn't have to be afraid off.

"Missy, do you want to go inside now? The Missus is probably still awake to welcome you."

"Bear! What the hell are you talking there with the new Miss? Get her things inside and try not to damage anything again with your huge paws."

He grinned again, his white teeth forming a strong contrast in his ebony face and walked off so slowly that I wondered if he was doing that on purpose to provoke the small grey-haired woman who now made an effort to curtsy in front of me. She almost dripped on the dusty ground during it and it was obvious that she had no clue how to act in front of a lady.

"Welcome on Twilight, Miss Swan. Would you like to follow me inside? Miss Esme is already waiting for your arrival."

I nodded my head and tried to take a deep breath in order to calm down my tensed nerves. It wasn't working because my corset was too tight like usually and maybe it was normal to be nervous when you were about to meet your mother in law.

"Isabella, my dear, it's so good to see you." The caramel-haired beauty greeted me when we entered the hall.

"Good evening, Miss Esme." I whispered, trying to catch my breath again. Why in heaven's name did I allow Beta to fasten my corset so tightly that I could hardly breathe at all? Oh yes, I remember it was an attempt to give my body the shape it was supposed to have in order to make me look like a real lady.

I knew I wasn't one. My father was just one lucky bastard who happened to be the nephew of a rich plantation owner who drank himself into his own grave. Charles Swan, my father had inherited nothing but liabilities from his uncle. Yet, he made me and my mother stay on the almost empty plantation for almost two years before he sold it way under worth to a man in South Carolina.

"You must be tired from your journey, my dear. Come and sit with me for a moment before I'll show your rooms to you."

"Thank you, Miss Esme."

I sat down next to her on the couch and took a glass with lemonade from the tray the grey-haired woman handed to me with trembling fingertips.

Was she afraid of me?

"You can go and help Flower to unpack Miss Isabella's belongings now, Nettie."

She nodded her head and walked out of the room as fast as possible.

"Is something wrong with her?" I asked Miss Esme while I sipped carefully on the lemonade. It had a deliciously tart taste and I figured out that I liked it a great deal.

"With Nettie? No, she's just nervous to make anything wrong. Royce impressed it up on her and the rest of the house slaves that they have to treat you with the appropriate respect."

"Oh, I see, that was very…considering of him, I guess."

Miss Esme's mouth turned into a half smile before she took my hand in hers to squeeze it gently.

"My nephew is going to make sure that you enjoy living here with us as much as possible."

"Royce is your nephew? I thought father told me that he's your son."

"I think of him as if he were my son. His parents, my late brother and his wife died in a fire when he was just a little boy. My husband and I raised him together with our own son, Edward. It turned out that Royce has way more interest and talent running Twilight then him."

"Am I going to meet him tomorrow during the reception?"

"No, you won't. Edward is still attending medical school in London. But he'll probably come here for Christmas."

"And Royce?"

"Well, he has to be there because he's supposed to be the groom."

"I know, it's just…I'm so worried that he won't be pleased with me. I have no idea how to run such a huge plantation like Twilight and I got the impression that maybe my father was a bit too enthusiastic when he praised my abilities to him in his letters."

"Please, there is no need to be afraid. I'll be there to help you feel at home here. We'll have you handling everything on Twilight as soon as possible."

"Thank you, Miss Esme. You are very kind."

She squeezed my hand again and leaned forward to plant a soft kiss on my cheek.

"Of course, I'm going to be kind to you. I've always wished for a daughter and now I'm finally going to have one."

XXXX

Flower, the girl who had prepared my bedroom for me was pretty. Or maybe pretty wasn't the right term to use for the way she looked. Her skin had a light brown caramel shade and her body was curvy and full in all the right places. The only ugly thing about her was the constant frown on her face.

If Nettie was just nervous and afraid of me, it was obvious that she literally detested me. Why she felt that way was beyond me but still it made me feel awkward somehow.

I recognized that the huge man who had carried my suitcases was still standing in the corner of the room, his eyes looking longingly over to Flower who was busy stuffing my clothes into a small oak closet.

The door of the room was opened abruptly and Nettie entered the room again, placing a mug with water on the dresser.

"Why the hell are you still here, Bear?"

He cringed and it was somehow funny to see such a giant man chicken in front of a small woman like her.

"I was just helping, Miss Flower to…,"

"Miss Flower, since when is Flower a Miss, you moron?"

He ducked his head and rushed out the room, taking the empty suit cases with him.

"Are you finished unpacking, Flower? The Miss is probably tired from her journey and wants to go to bed now."

A low snarling noise escaped the pretty girl's lips before she spoke up.

"Yes, I am. Do I have to help her get undressed or is she able to handle that part on her own?"

Nettie turned to me and cleared her throat nervously.

"Miss Isabella?"

I sure as hell didn't want Flower to help me get undressed but I knew that there was no way I was able to loosen my corset on my own. Maybe I should just try to sleep with it. I had already done that before and it wasn't comfortable but I could probably endure it for one night.

"I don't need her assistance, thank you." I told Nettie, trying to keep my voice as calm as possible.

"Fine, Miss. We'll give you some privacy then. Welcome to Twilight again."

They walked out of the room and I sat down on the edge of the huge bed, feeling the tears starting to burn in the corner of my eyes. Now, I was truly alone. Alone in a house crowded with strangers with no one to talk to apart from slaves and Miss Esme, who was kind to me but would probably loser her patience with me soon once she would figure out how incredibly clumsy I was.

Then there was the fact that my future husband, Royce hadn't spoken more than a few sentences to me when he had come to my father's house to ask for my hand in marriage.

It was going to be a marriage of convenience my mother had tried to explain to me. He would barely be home and as long as I would fulfill my wifely duties as she called it, he and I would get along just fine.

What exactly this wifely duties, would contain she didn't tell me and I was too embarrassed to ask her about it.

The thought of sleeping in the same bed with Royce was frightening for me and yet I knew that it was an inevitable part of those duties.

Someone knocked on the door and I quickly wiped away a few tears from my cheeks before it was opened.

The girl who was standing in the frame of the door curtsied before she placed a tray with fruits and sandwiches next to me on the bed.

"Miss Esme sent me to bring you this. She thought that you might be hungry from your trip and would like to eat a bit before going to sleep."

I took a sandwich from the porcelain plate and started nibbling on it.

The girl giggled and I raised one eyebrow, taking a real look at her for the first time. She was dainty and her body was still child-like although her face was clearly that of a woman. Her full lips curved into a smile before she spoke up again.

"You eat like a little bird, Miss. Don't you like it?"

I sighed and put the sandwich back on the plate again.

"It's difficult to eat properly with my corset on."

"Why didn't you let Flower help you to remove it?"

"I…well,"

"You don't like Flower, do you?"

"She doesn't seem to like me much as well."

"Don't worry about that, Miss. Flower hates everyone one including herself."

"Why?" I asked her standing up again from the bed to slip out of my shoes.

"Because she thinks that she is better than anyone else and yet she knows that she isn't better than the rest of us. No matter how light-skinned she might be."

"Hmm, I see."

When I fumbled with the tiny buttons at the back of my dress the girl stepped closer to me and cleared her throat.

"Do you want me to help you?"

I nodded my head and waited for her to open the dozens of small pearls of my pale pink dress.

"That's a pretty press, you're wearing." She whispered when it fell down on the ground and I stepped out of the huge crinoline.

"I don't really care about that sort of thing. Beta, my maid at home chose it for me to wear this morning. She said it looked good with my hair color."

"And she was right about that. Why didn't you bring her with you? You are definitely going to need a maid and as you and Flower don't seem to get along that well…,"

"My mother needs Beta back home. She's the only one who is able to keep to keep Alpha and Omega in line. They are terribly stubborn and now that my father is so sick, I'm glad that mother will at least have her to deal with the boys."

"That doesn't solve your problem of needing a maid yourself."

"I know,"

"Hold on to the bedframe, Miss." She instructed before she started pulling on the strings of my corset with so much force that it surprised me. How could such a tiny woman have so much strength? It was obvious that she didn't have much experience with undressing a lady. Yet, I was thankful that it was her who was helping me and not the caramel-skinned beauty named Flower.

Then finally the corset fell down my thighs and I sighed in relief. God, this was so much better. I took several deep breaths, enjoying the feeling of the warm air streaming down my lungs. There was the slight hint of cinnamon in it and something else that I couldn't really put a name to. Whatever it was it smelled divine and I wondered where it was coming from.

"Thanks," I whispered, sitting down on the edge of the bed again to pull my cotton night gown over my head.

"You are welcome, Miss."

She picked my corset and the dress up from the floor and placed them carefully over a chair before she curtsied again.

"Good night, Miss, I wish you pleasant dreams."

"Good, night..., sorry, what's your name again?"

She smiled and for the first time I realized that her eyes sparkled like melted dark chocolate when she did that. It was the nicest smile someone had showed me since I had arrived and somehow, in a strange way it made me feel a little bit more at home here.

"My name is Pixie,"

**XOXXOXOXXO**

[A/N] Leave me a review if you are interested in reading more :-)

Oh and please pm me if you would like to be my beta for this story. I'm pretty stubborn about my writing but I could need some help with grammar, plot-lining and that kind of stuff.


	2. Chapter 2

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Thanks to all of you who have decided to give this story a try. Your interest and support means a lot to me. There are going to be 30 chapters and I'll try to update once a week.

**#FAQ**

Some of you seemed to be a bit confused about the characters, so I'll give you a little list of who is who

Flower is Rosalie

Bear is Emmett

Alpha is Jacob

Beta is Leah

Omega is Seth

Nettie's character is based on one of the vampires that changed Jasper but she's more like an OC

****Chapter 2****

_If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books._

_(Alan King)_

The metal of my corset cut into my ribs while I desperately tried not to faint from the lack of oxygen in my lungs.

Flower snarled behind me before she pulled a last time on the strings and stepped back to grab the ivory silk dress from the bed. Carefully she lifted it over my head and for a moment everything around me to blurred until she pulled it down and started to close the tiny pearls at the back of the dress.

I hesitantly dared to look at my reflection in the mirror for the first time and waited for at least the light hint of a joyful feeling to enter my mind. It didn't happen. All I could feel was certain nervousness because I knew that everyone would be staring at me and I wasn't used to being the center of attention.

Something ripped behind me followed by a loud slapping noise.

"Ouch! How dare you lay your hand on me, you old witch?" Flower called out rubbing her cheek with her hand.

"Would you rather have the Missus slap you? Because she definitely would if she had caught you damaging the wedding dress." Nettie stated harshly.

"She has no right to hit me. I'm Mr. Edward's property."

"Your Mr. Edward is not coming back any time soon and I'm sure he wouldn't approve of the way you and his cousin…,"

"Keep your stupid mouth shut, Nettie and stop sticking your ugly nose into things that aren't your business at all."

"Mr. Royce is my business. I used to take care of them since he was a tiny infant. He brought me with him from his parent's plantation after they died. The poor boy was so…,"

"No one cares about your old stories." Flower snarled at her, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

I turned my head and tried to take a look over my shoulder to see how much damage she had caused to the dress.

"Maybe you could just try to fix it again?" I mumbled while the unpleasant dizziness got worse with every breath I took. Should I ask her to loosen the corset a bit so that I could manage to breathe better? No, I couldn't do that. It was too embarrassing…

Flower clicked her tongue and pulled a sewing kit out of a drawer but Nettie stopped her before she could start fixing the ruined trail of the expensive dress.

Esme had ordered it exclusively from Paris and that was probably her way of telling me that she cared. I had forced my lips into a smile when she had informed me about the dress, biting my own tongue to keep me from telling her that I would prefer it to get married in my mother's wedding gown.

Until my father had started to drown his sorrows in brandy and other liqueur he and Renee had been incredibly happy together. Their connection although it had been an arrangement of their parents had turned into a deep love soon afterwards. Somehow I hoped that Royce and I would manage to achieve the same thing for our marriage.

"Do you think I'm letting you pinch the new Miss with a needle? Mister Royce will have my head if he finds out about that."

"_Mr. Royce_…is not here right now. He's down the hall with his friends…celebrating."

I wondered how she could know where my fiancé was right now but then I figured out that it didn't matter. What mattered was fixing this damn dress as soon as possible.

"Go and get, Pixie." Nettie instructed and her voice sounded so harsh now in my ears that I instantly cringed.

Flower rushed out of the room and a few moments later the dainty girl who had helped me to get undressed last night showed up in the door frame.

She curtsied and her lips twitched into a warmhearted smile before she walked in and closed the door behind her.

Nettie whispered something into her ear that was too low for me to understand before she cleared her throat and spoke up again.

"Pixie is going to fix your dress, Miss Isabella. I have to go and check on Missus Esme now."

I nodded my head and sat down on the edge of the bed, trying not to crinkle the hem of my dress too much.

"You look tired, Miss." The girl stated worriedly when she started to sew the damaged trail of my dress in smooth, practiced movements.

"I didn't sleep well this night."

"Hmm, I assumed so, Miss. Are you nervous about the wedding or is it because you miss home, Miss?"

"Probably a bit of both,"

"Then I hope that you will like it here on Twilight. It's a good place to live…if you know where your place is."

XXXX

The wedding ceremony and the reception were over before I was actually aware what was happening. I tried to smile a lot because I assumed that was what people expected me to do.

Royce had planted a cold, thin-lipped kiss on my lips after lifting the translucent lace veil over my face.

It was the first time a man had kissed me but to my immense disappointment there hadn't been any butterflies in my stomach when he pressed his lips on mine for a split second.

In the books I had stolen secretly from my father's library the heroine always felt butterflies in her stomach once they got kissed.

"Isabella?"

I shrugged back and when my eyes met Royce's his mouth turned into a grimace that was probably supposed to look like a smile.

"Yes, Royce?"

"I don't know if your father has made it clear to you that I have certain expectations concerning my wife. If not so my aunt will hopefully be able to remind you about your duties. She will show you how everything is handled here on Twilight. As the new lady of the house you are supposed to be in charge of everything that happens inside the house. Our slaves are sneaky and if they figure out you are too soft hearted they will be take advantage of that."

"I will try to…,"

"Trying is not good enough, Isabella. But let's not talk about such unpleasant topics now. Do you want to drink some Champagne before we go to bed? It will help to calm your nerves a bit."

I shook my head and felt an unpleasant shiver of fear running down my spine when he took my hand to blow a kiss over the back of my hand. The tip of his tongue flicked against my lace covered skin and when he noticed the blush on my face he chuckled slightly.

"A blushing bride, that's lovely."

He leaned over and the hairs of his mustache tickled my ear when he whispered huskily.

"Are you excited about becoming a woman, Isabella?"

I didn't know what kind of an answer he expected from me or if he did expect an answer at all.

He cupped my face between his hands and quickly scanned the area around us to make sure that no one was watching us before he kissed my mouth again. This time he plucked his tongue forcefully between my closed lips and that movement shocked me so much that I almost bit down.

He nudged his tongue against mine for a few times before he pulled back.

"You're not really a passionate thing, are you?"

"I'm sorry," I stumbled out, wiping my mouth on a cotton tissue I pulled out of my sleeve.

"Don't have to be. You are my wife and not some Nigger whore like Flower that is supposed to show something like a natural liking in the physical aspects of the relationship between men and women."

I was instantly repulsed by the way he talked and although I didn't like Flower one tiny bit I still didn't wish her any harm.

XXXX

My knowledge about was supposed to happen in my wedding night was basically not existent. Beta was the only person who had at least tried to explain some things to me but when father had caught her talking to me about it, he had been furious and pulled her out of the kitchen on her hair.

Maybe it was not appropriate for a lady to know about that sort of thing? I couldn't tell but right now while I lay underneath several blankets in my bed, I really wished that I knew what I had to expect.

Royce entered the room and my heartbeat increased almost instantly. He looked as if he had been drinking and his eyes were all glassy.

He grinned and sat down on the edge of the bed, caressing the edge of my night gown with sweaty fingertips.

"You're shivering. Are you cold, Isabella?"

He lifted the blanket and pressed his body against mine. There was something hard stabbing against my hipbone and I wondered what the hell that was supposed to be? Did he try to hide a bottle of wine inside his trousers?

"I can't wait to be inside you,"

A low groan escaped his throat and before I could even manage to blink twice he rolled himself on top of me.

"Try to be still. It's going to hurt less if you don't move."

It's going to hurt? Oh dear god, why would I allow him to do something to me that would be painful?

"Part your legs," he instructed while he started to fumble around on my gown, trying to lift it over my hips.

"No, please. I don't want this."

His eyes narrowed into tiny slits before he roughly cupped my face in his left hand.

"What you want or don't want is of none importance, Isabella!"

In my entire life no one had ever dared to yell at me and I felt the tears starting to burn in my eyes when he grabbed the cotton fabric of my night gown with his free hand and pulled it up.

I closed my eyes and when a sharp, ripping pain went through my lower body I tried to shove Royce off of me.

"You're hurting me. Let me go."

"Be still, it's normal that it's painful. Are you so stupid that you don't know that?"

He started moving above me and I pressed my lips against each other to keep me from crying out loud. I turned my head to the side and kept looking at the single rose in the porcelain vase that was standing next to the bed. It was so beautiful and right now everything around me felt so incredibly ugly to me.

I tasted something wet and salty on my lips and a heartbeat later his body above me went ridged before Royce finally, finally rolled off of me again.

"Stop crying. I hate it when women do that."

"But it hurts so much,"

His hand wiped away a few tears from my cheek and I instantly shrugged back from his touch.

"It's going to get better for you the next times. It's usually only a woman's first time that is unpleasant."

"Next times?" My voice raised two octaves reaching an embarrassingly shrill frequency.

"Does that mean we have to do that again?"

"Yes, Isabella we have at least until you become with child."

"We have to do something as awfully as that to make a child?" I asked him, trying to sit up again.

"I have to produce an heir for Twilight as soon as possible and it's your duty as my wife to provide me with one."

"I see. Why do you want to have children so soon? We're both young and…,"

"It would increase my chances of convincing my uncle to sign over the plantation to me instead of my useless cousin."

He stood up from the bed and planted a wet kiss on my mouth.

"I'll see you tomorrow. Try to sleep now, Mrs. King."

With that he blew out the candles and walked out of the room leaving me alone in the darkness.

I pulled the blankets over my head and cried myself into dreamless sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] I had some creativity bust today and so I'm going to reward you with a new update. Hope that makes you happy.

Follow me on Twitter - _**MyTwiDreams**_ - if you'd like to talk about the story or other stuff.

**#FAQ**

*Why didn't you choose Edward as the bad guy in this story?

It would probably increase the amount of my reviews if I had picked Edward as the villain. However I'm kind of tired of writing him as an asshole and hope that I'll manage to convince you of the evil that is Royce King II.

*Is Alice black in this story?

As far as my limited knowledge goes the slaves in the US were of African descent. Which automatically leads to the fact that when Alice is a slave girl she needs to be black or colored or whatever the politically correct phrase might be. I haven't found a visual role model for her yet but if you have any suggestions about actresses or models that could play Pixie feel free to pm me.

****Chapter 3****

_A single rose can be my garden…a single friend my world_

_(Leo F. Buscaglia)_

I awake from a knocking on my door and when I hesitantly opened my tired eyes the light of the morning sun blinded me for a moment. There was a painful soreness between my legs that was very likely the result of the horrible events from last night. How often did you have to endure that to become with child? I could only pray to god it wasn't too often.

Before I could think any further about my unpleasant wifely duties the door was pulled open and Pixie walked in to place a tray with my breakfast on the table at the corner of the room.

"Morning, Miss. Did you sleep better tonight?"

I didn't answer her because somehow I didn't know what I should tell her. Did she know anything about the awful things my new husband had done to me? No, that couldn't be. Or could it?

"Aren't you feeling well, Miss?"

I shook my head and pulled the blankets to the side in order to stand up from the bed. My eyes caught the dried blood on the white sheets and a wave of panic spread through me. What if Royce had injured me severely with what he had done? Maybe he hadn't done it right. Should I ask Esme to let someone send for a doctor? No, I couldn't do that. It was too embarrassing.

A heartbeat later I burst out into tears and buried my face in my hands.

"Miss, are you in pain?"

"Yes…no…I don't really know. The blood…,"

"I've heard that's normal during a woman's first time with a man. It didn't hurt too much, I hope?"

I wiped my running nose on the sleeve of my night gown before I stood up, almost tripping over my own feet. There was blood on my gown too and it frightened me even more.

"Can I take a bath?" I asked her, my voice shaking slightly form the tears I was trying to hold back. It was wrong to cry in front of a slave girl. She would think that I was a weak and hysterical person, two characteristics I detested more than anything in others.

She nodded her head and handed me a tissue to clean my face before she rushed out of the room.

A few minutes later she returned with a wooden tub filled with steaming water. It looked way too heavy for her to carry it. She was so tiny and fragile. Didn't they feed their slaves well here on Twilight? I made a mental note to ask her about that once my nerves had calmed down again a bit. It was my responsibility to make sure that everyone on the plantation stayed as healthy as possible.

"Miss, you should get into the water as long as it's still warm, unlike you prefer a cold bath. I should probably have asked you…,"

"No, it's fine. Thank you, Pixie."

I stood up from the edge of the bed and pulled my gown over my head before I carefully stepped into the tub. A wonderful, flowery scent floated my nostrils and I inhaled deeper to absorb as much of it as possible.

"It smells nice," I stated when I leaned back to close my eyes for a moment. The memory of the last night entered my mind and before I could help it my entire body started trembling. How could god create such a disgusting act to beget a child?

Pixie kneeled down next to the tub and dipped a cotton cloth into the water before she started rubbing it up and down my back in smooth circles.

"That's lavender," she mumbled, lifting up my right arm to wash it with the cloth.

"What's lavender?" I asked back, while I started to relax a tiny bit. The warm water helped to soothe the aching soreness between my legs and I hoped that it would be gone soon.

"The smell, Miss, I've put some lavender oil into the water. Do you like it?"

I nodded my head and sighed deeply.

"Did it hurt a lot?" she asked me worriedly when she tried to remove a bit of dried blood from my thighs.

"Yes, it did and I didn't know…I mean, no one told me that getting married involved enduring such awful wifely duties."

"No one told you what to expect? Not even your mother?"

Instead of answering her I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around my knees to sob like a little child. I missed home and it was difficult to remind me that I had to start seeing Twilight as my new home now.

"Shhh, it's okay, it's okay." She whispered into my ear while she wrapped her dainty arms around me and caressed my damp hair with her fingertips until I finally stopped weeping.

"I'm sorry that I cry so much."

A light giggling noise left her throat before she spoke up again.

"You're a strange lady, Miss Isabella. No other fine lady I know would apologize for such a thing."

"I hate being weak."

"That's normal, Miss. Everyone does."

I stepped out of the tub again and she quickly wrapped a warm towel around my naked body.

When her fingertips brushed gently against the pearly white scar on my left shoulder blade a shiver went down my spine.

"How did that happen?"

"I fell down from my horse when I was twelve."

"You know how to ride?" she asked me when I sat down on the edge of my bed again to wait for her to dress me.

"Not very well," I confessed embarrassedly.

"That's understandable. Horses are frightening creatures. I can't understand why anyone would go near such a monster without being forced to. Flower likes them a great deal but if you ask me that's just because she secretly likes Bear, the blacksmith, although she doesn't give him the light of day."

"Shouldn't Flower be here to dress me now? I thought that she's supposed to be my maid."

Pixie cringed and I instantly felt sorry about asking her about the caramel skinned beauty.

"She is…,well she's…,"

"You don't have to lie for her, Pixie. I'm not too fond of Flower and it's not like she's the only one on this planation that could work as my maid."

XXXX

It felt strange to meet Royce in the library again after what had happened between the two of us last night. He grinned and licked his lower lip, a gesture that made my stomach heaving from disgust.

"Good Morning, Mrs. King. Are you feeling well today?"

I nodded my head and forced my mouth into a grimace that was supposed to look like a polite smile.

"That's good to hear. My aunt will show you around later to explain how everything is handled here on Twilight. Try to learn fast. I have to convince her and my uncle that my new wife is capable of dealing with all things."

"To convince them to sign over the plantation to you," I assumed, sitting down on a chair across from him.

"That's the plan, yes. As my wife it's your duty to support all my goals in life. Is that clear to you, Isabella?"

"Yes, Royce." My voice almost cracked although I desperately tried to make it sound hard. I didn't want to show him how scared I already was of him.

"Fine, Isabella. That's good to hear. I'm sure that you are going to be a good wife."

He reached out his hand to touch my arm but I shrugged back from his touch.

"Still so shy," he chuckled, standing up from his chair to pour himself a glass of brandy. I was beginning to worry that he was probably developing the same preference for alcoholic beverages like my father.

"Well, maybe we can start to work on that once I return from my journey."

"You are leaving?"

"In a few days, are you going to miss me, Mrs. King?"

I nodded my head because I assumed that was what he expected me to do. Unfortunately he seemed to see that as a form of invitation to kiss me again.

His cold lips pressed against mine and I almost choked when he plugged his tongue into my mouth, letting me taste the bitterness of the brandy. I stiffened in his arms and to my immense relief he pulled back a few moments later.

I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and he chuckled again. That noise coming from his mouth was starting to annoy me beyond words.

"You're a true lady, Isabella and I'm not used to being with one. However, like I told you last night, pleasing me physically is part of your wifely duties and I'd like to see a bit more encouragement from your side."

XXXX

Esme was truly a kind woman but she seemed to be too busy to deal with my problems of being homesick and that sort of thing. She had made a brief comment about me looking tired before she instructed me to follow her through the entire house and the garden. The garden had a pretty big chance of becoming my favorite place on the entire plantation. There were so many lovely flowers everywhere and wished I had more knowledge about their names.

"You are not supposed to walk here on your own." Esme told me to my immense disappointment.

"Why not? A garden doesn't seem like a very dangerous place to me."

"Well, it's not the garden itself that is dangerous. But you'll find out what I mean soon enough, my dear."

What a weird place is this plantation, I thought. How in heaven's name should I manage to see this as my home? It didn't feel like home. No matter how friendly Esme treated me, she wasn't my mother and I longed terribly for her, or at least someone that I could talk to apart from slaves.

"Are you content with Flower? It was my husband's suggestion that she should become your maid. I didn't think it was a good idea. Flower is too arrogant, just like her mother was." Esme murmured through gritted teeth while I moved my fingertips over the crimson colored edges of a rose. I had never heard someone speak of a slave like that before. If she wasn't content with the way the girl worked she could just sell her off. Flower was pretty and young enough to birth many children. Wouldn't that increase her price if she was to be sold?

"Isabella?"

I cleared my throat nervously before I spoke up.

"I would rather have another girl as my personal maid. Flower works hard but I have a certain feeling that she and I won't get along that well."

"I see. Would you like me to ask Carlisle to buy your former maid from your father?"

I quickly shook my head, reminding myself that I couldn't tell her that Beta was one of the last three slaves my parents owned. No one could know about my family's financial problems, father had made that point clear to me. How he had convinced the Cullen's to agree to a marriage between me and their nephew was not comprehensible to me, so I assumed that maybe it was my late uncle's good name that had played a role in it.

"It won't be necessary to buy a new maid for me. I've already chosen a girl from this planation whom I want to work for me."

"Which girl, Isabella? Flower is the only trained maid that we have on Twilight apart from Nettie and I definitely need her myself."

"I'm not talking about Nettie." I would rather learn how to put my corset on my own than to spend any more time with the old witch than absolutely necessary. Plus she worshipped the ground Royce walked on and my maid was supposed to be my confident and not his.

"The girl I want to become my maid is Pixie."


	4. Chapter 4

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Thanks and hugs to those of you who are taking the time to read and review this story. I know that my writing is nowhere close to being perfect. But if it were I wouldn't be writing fan-fiction on the internet…

I still haven't found the perfect Pixie yet but in case anyone of you has ever watched the TV series Queen - the way Halle Berry looks in this movie is exactly how I picture Flower to look like.

****Chapter 4****

_Fear is the passion of slaves_

_(Patrick Henry)_

"Pixie? Isn't that the little thin thing that works in the kitchen. Why in heaven's name would you want her to become your maid?"

I cleared my throat nervously before I spoke up, wiping my sweating hands on the hem of my grey organza dress. It was wrong that I was afraid of my own husband. That wasn't how things were supposed to be. At least I believed so.

"Didn't you tell me that I'm in charge of anything concerning the house slaves? It's my personal wish to have Pixie as my maid. I have a very good feeling that she will do an excellent job."

He crossed his arms in front of his chest and growled angrily.

"Aren't you content with Flower's work? I know that she's a bit too arrogant for a slave but that's just Edward's fault. If you want me to remind her where her place is in this house you just have to…,"

"No, please, don't do that. I can handle her pretty fine on my own. I just don't like Flower. It's a…personal thing between women."

"Well, if it makes you happy, you can try how things work out with Pixie. I assume it's better than buying a new maid."

"Thanks, Royce."

"You are welcome, Mrs. King." He murmured leaning forward to plant a kiss on my mouth. I shrugged back and dropped a vase that was standing next to me over, splashing some water over my dress.

Royce chuckled and put a wisp of my hair behind my ear while I tried to get the embarrassing trembling in my hands under control again.

"You should change your dress before you go to see my aunt. She doesn't need to know how clumsy you are, Isabella."

I nodded my head and sighed deeply sitting down on the edge of my bed.

He walked out of the room and a few minutes later Pixie appeared in the doorframe. Her face seemed to be glowing from excitement.

She kneeled down next to me on the ground and kissed the fabric of my dress over and over again before she finally spoke up, the words coming out so rushed that it was difficult to understand everything she was saying.

"Oh thank you, thank you, thank you, Miss Isabella. I can't believe you're allowing me to become your maid. I promise to learn fast. I promise to...,"

"I'm sure you will do fine." I told her standing up from the bed again that squeaked slightly underneath me.

"But please stop with the dress kissing thing. It makes me feel like a matron."

"Yes, Miss Isabella. It's just that I'm so happy that I don't have to work in the kitchen anymore. To work in the kitchen is almost as bad as working on the fields. You get all sweaty and dirty. It's so awful."

"I kind of like cooking." I stated, running my fingertips over the moist hem of my dress.

She raised one eyebrow and walked over to my closet to pull out another dress for me to wear.

"This one will look lovely on you." she stated, waving with a light blue silk dress in front of my face.

"You have so many pretty clothes. It's so wonderful."

With smooth movements she unbuttoned the pearl buttons at the back of my organza dress and a moment later it fell down my legs.

"Hold your breath, Miss." she murmured when she pulled on the strings of my corset to narrow my waist a few more inches.

Then she pulled the new dress over my head and closed it carefully. Her fingertips brushed over the small stripe of exposed skin on my back and a shiver went down my spine. She instantly seemed to notice my reaction because she pulled back a heartbeat later.

"I'm sorry, Miss. My hands are too cold, I know."

"No, it's okay. Don't worry. Can you just close the dress now? I have to meet with Miss Esme."

"The Missus seems to like you a great deal. I didn't think that she would ever show any kind of affection towards another girl after what happened to Miss Angela."

"Who's Miss Angela?"

"She was…,"

The door was pulled open and Flower rushed into the room, pushing Pixie against the wall behind her.

"You! You did that on purpose! How dare you steal my job from me?" she snarled at the poor girl in front of her, grabbing her hand around her throat.

"Drop your hands this moment before I sent for someone to whip you."

Flower hissed but instantly let go of Pixie.

"No one has ever whipped me, _Miss_."

I nodded my head and helped Pixie who was kneeling on the ground now up again. Her fingers were indeed cold and I assumed that was because she was so thin and fragile.

"I assume that no one has ever whipped you, Flower. It would probably have improved the content of your character. Consider yourself warned. If I see you laying your hands on Pixie ever again, if I ever so much as see you look unfriendly in her direction, I will ask your Master to sell you to another plantation before you can even blink. And now get out of my eyes!"

She walked out of the room and I inhaled sharply through my teeth before I turned to Pixie again. There were tears glistening in her brown eyes and I wondered if my little outburst had frightened her.

"You're not afraid of me now?" I asked her worriedly.

"No, I'm good, Miss. I can't believe that you defended me from Flower. That's the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me."

XXXX

"Royce told me that you replaced Flower with one of the kitchen girls. My nephew wasn't too pleased about that but I think it was a good choice."

Her dislike for the caramel skinned slave girl was so obvious that I couldn't keep myself from asking Esme about it.

"You don't seem to like her."

"That's putting it mildly. She's like a thorn in my flesh. Unfortunately my son has developed a liking in her. Heaven itself knows how she managed to lull him in."

"Flower is quite attractive for a nigger woman. Her skin is almost as light as mine and yours."

"Do me a favor and don't mention the color of _that_ girl's skin. It's inappropriate for a lady to talk about such things anyway, Isabella."

"Yes, Esme, I'm sorry that I mentioned it."

My cheeks blushed and I quickly leaned forward to absorb as much of the intoxicating scent of the yellow roses in front of me.

"This garden is such a beautiful place, Esme." I told her in order to distract her when I sat down next to her on a bench in the shadow.

She gave me a warm smile and took my hand in hers to squeeze it gently.

"I'm happy if you like it, Isabella. But please don't forget what I have told you about not going here on your own."

"Why?" I asked her, pulling out my tissue to wipe from sweat from my forehead.

"Because of him," she stated, pointing to a tall man which was standing at the other side of the flower beds. When he noticed us he lifted his hat for a moment. Then he turned around and my mouth fell open. My first reaction was simple disgust, followed by a wave of pity. Never before had I seen a slave with so many scars before. His entire back was covered with them and I wondered what he might have done to get punished so severely.

"Scary, isn't it?" Esme whispered into my ear.

"I tried to talk my son into selling Texas again, but he's afraid that they are probably going to kill him. I've never met such a stubborn slave before in my life."

"The scars," I stumbled out, unable to suppress the trembling in my voice.

"He already had most of them when he came here two years ago. His former Master told us that he thought Texas wasn't quite right in the head. Most slaves learn pretty fast once you let them taste the whip. But with him it's different. It's like it doesn't even bother him when you punish him."

"And you think that makes him a maniac?"

"Yes, I do. Stay away from him. He's dangerous and I don't want to be responsible in case something bad happens to you."

XXXX

My heart skipped a beat when Royce sat down on the edge of the bed. His shirt was open and for the first time I noticed the trail of black hair that covered his chest. I smelled the brandy on his breath and prayed that it would make him sleepy. Of course, I wasn't that lucky.

"Pull your dress up." he instructed harshly, lifting the blanket from my quivering body.

"Please, not that again." I pleaded him while I swallowed hard to keep the tears from falling.

He growled and sat up straight in the bed wondering if he would strike me now or something like that.

"Isabella, which part of your wifely duties is too complicated for that little brain of yours to grasp it fully? I already told you that I want an heir. Do you think it pleases me to spend the night with someone who's stiff like a piece of wood when other beds under this roof are warm and…,"

"I'm sorry,"

"Never mind, Isabella, like I told you before…I'm not used to being with a lady,"

"But you have been with other women…that are not ladies before, haven't you?"

A low chuckle left his throat before he rolled on top of me, knocking the breath out of my lungs with his weight.

"Curious thing, aren't you? I assure you that I'm not going to treat you like my whores. You wouldn't be able to handle that physically."

With that he grabbed my thighs and pulled them apart so roughly that a sharp pain rushed through my body.

I tried to shove him off again but he was too heavy for me.

"Don't move. It will soon be over."

He kissed my mouth and I had to swallow back a bit of acid when he nudged his tongue against mine. God, this was just so disgusting and frightening.

I turned my head to the side when he pulled back from the kiss and pretended that I wasn't really there. That my husband wasn't hovering over me like a predator ready to attack its prey. When he moaned against my neck and pushed inside of me I cried out in pain.

"Be quiet," he snarled at me. "It can't be that bad."

"You are hurting me, let me go."

"You are starting to piss me off, Isabella. Keep your mouth shut. I'm your husband and I will take you as I see fit."

I pressed my lips against each other and tried to ignore what he was doing to me as much as possible. It wasn't really working but to my immense relief it was over a few minutes later.

"How often will we have to do that until I become with child?" It was probably inappropriate to ask him that but I was desperate. I lowered my hand between my legs to see if I was bleeding again. It hurt so much that I was afraid he had injured me even more this time.

He grinned and planted a wet kiss right above the hollow of my throat.

"That's god's choice not ours."

At least someone has a choice in this I thought bitterly, before I drifted into restless sleep.

**XOXXOXXOXXOXO**

[A/N] I'm going to donate a one-shot for **FandomAgainstFamine**. It's an important cause and I hope that a lot of people are going to support this project.

In case you're wondering what I'm going to write about. It's going to be the Edward and Bella backstory for **WTHN** and will give you a unique look into what's going on in his head.


	5. Chapter 5

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Welcome back to another update, my darling readers; hope you'll enjoy.

This chapter is dedicated to **SOFisticated1** for helping me to find the perfect Pixie. Kerry Washington is really pretty and I can imagine her in the role pretty well.

****Chapter 5****

_If all men are born free, how is it that all women are born slaves?_

_(Mary Astell)_

Beta had told me that a baby was starting to grow inside a woman when her monthly bleeding stopped. That was one of the few things she had managed to tell me before my father had caught her trying to give me what he referred to as inappropriate knowledge. However when I woke up shortly after dawn from the usual cramps in my abdomen, followed by an awful pain in my back I knew for sure that the disgusting things Royce had done to me didn't bring the result he wished for. Hell, I wished for it too. Not because I was so determined of becoming a mother as soon as possible. I was just seventeen years old after all and I couldn't even picture myself with a baby of my own.

But I hoped that once I would become with child his interest in me to endure my wifely duties would lessen.

"Morning, Mrs. King, how are you feeling today?" Royce greeted me when he entered my bedroom. His hair was still damp and I assumed that he had washed it earlier.

"Okay, I guess." I whispered nervously, instantly holding my breath when he tried to shove the blankets to the side.

"No,"

"Isabella…I think that I've made my point in this clear last night."

"I know Royce, but I can't. We can't…I…," my cheeks blushed into an embarrassing crimson color and I desperately wished for the earth to open up underneath me to swallow me whole.

"I'm sorry but we're not going to have a child, at least not this month."

"Oh that. I see. What a disappointment. How long will this female…indisposition last?"

"About a week," I whispered so low that my voice was barely audible.

"Then our family planning has to wait until I return from my journey. Try to get used to your role as my wife while I'm gone. Patience is not my strong point and I warn you not to push it too much.

Someone knocked on the door and I cringed when Royce growled angrily.

"Good Morning, Master…Morning Miss," Pixie mumbled before she placed the tray with my breakfast on the table.

"There is hardly anything good about this morning." Royce stated before he leaned forward to plant a kiss on my forehead.

When he was out of the room I buried my face into the fluffy pillows to suppress my sobbing.

The bed squeaked and a moment later I felt a dainty hand stroking gently over my messy hair.

"Oh please, don't cry, Miss."

"I'm sorry," I sniffed turning around to look into her worried face. Her brown eyes were so dark that I could see a tiny reflection of my own face in them. It wasn't a pretty sight though. I looked even paler than usual and my eyes had purple bruises underneath them.

"I'm the one who is sorry, Miss. I shouldn't have interrupted you and Mister Royce."

"Don't worry about that. He was about to leave anyway. I've disappointed him."

"How?" she asked me handing me a tissue to wipe the rest of tears from my face.

"I told him that we're not going to have a child this month. Well, you can probably assume why. Now he's so disappointed. I've failed him."

"No, you haven't, Miss. Please stop thinking that."

I sighed deeply and cleared my throat nervously, rubbing my palm over my aching back.

"Are you in pain?" she asked me, raising one eyebrow.

"It's not that bad. I'm a bit sniveling."

She stood up from the bed and placed the tray with my breakfast carefully on my lap.

"Enjoy your meal, Miss."

"I'm not hungry. Do you want to eat it for me?"

She quickly shook her head and put some butter on a piece of toast before she waved with it in front of my mouth.

"You need to eat, Miss. If I bring your tray back to the kitchen untouched Nettie will say that it's my fault."

I took the toast from her and started nibbling on it halfheartedly while she poured me a cup of tea.

"Thanks," I murmured taking a small sip from the steaming hot liquid.

"You are welcome, Miss. Have you already decided which dress you want to wear today? I would suggest the lilac one, with the little white flowers on the hem. That will look lovely on you."

The cramps in my lower body increased and I wondered if that was coming from the awful things Royce had done to me. However I knew that I couldn't bear the wearing my corsets while my back and my abdomen were hurting so much. Unfortunately that meant I couldn't leave my room at all this day.

"You won't have to help me dress today, Pixie. I'm…sickish and will stay in bed. Oh and please eat the rest of my breakfast. You are already too skinny. Aren't they giving you enough to eat?"

"The Missus makes sure no one is starving. I'm just so tiny and thin because on the plantation I've lived before I came here things were…well, they were different."

"How long have you been here on Twilight?"

She swallowed the rest of my toast down together with my eggs before she spoke up.

"About two years now. It's a good place and I hope that they're going to keep me. I don't want to be sold again."

"Well, I really need you here as my maid, so there is no need to worry about you being sold."

She took my hand and kissed its back, the touch of her lips sending a wave of warmth though my entire body. What in heaven's name was that? I quickly pulled my hand away and cradled it against my chest. Still I could feel the touch of her warm mouth on my skin afterwards and that was irritating me somehow.

"Have I displeased you, my Miss?"

"No, you haven't. Maybe I should probably lay down a bit. I'm not feeling well."

She put the empty tray aside and cleared her throat nervously.

"Did I make you feel like a matron again by kissing your hand? I just wanted to thank you for being such a kind mistress to me."

I shook my head and tried to figure out how exactly her kissing my hand had made me feel. Somehow there didn't seem to be a right word for it. Confused, maybe? It wasn't unpleasant but still…

Another cramp went through my lower body so strong that I turned to the side and curled up into a ball.

"Ouch! Why do women have to endure this every month?"

She kneeled down behind me and placed her hands on my belly.

"What are you doing? This is not…,"

"Shhh, it's going to help you to feel better. My mommy always used to do that to me when I wasn't feeling well during that time of month."

Her fingers circled gently over my abdomen while her chin nestled against my shoulder.

"Try to continue breathing in and out deeply." she whispered into my ear, her warm breathe tickled my neck and my skin broke out in goose flesh.

"Are you cold, Miss?"

I shook my head, unable to form reasonable words now. It was wrong to let her being so close to me. But here she was the only person I could turn to and right now while her tiny hands rubbed up and down my aching back I couldn't help but enjoy being cared of.

XXXX

It was already dark outside when I finally decided to stand up from my bed to get a book from the library. I would have sent Pixie to get one for me but I knew that she didn't know how to read and so it would probably be difficult for her to pick something that I enjoyed reading.

She helped me to dress into a cotton dress and somehow, no idea how she did that, she managed to close it without my corset underneath it.

I walked down the corridor, realizing that there was still light in the library. Did someone forget to put out the candles?

When I opened the door a loud moaning noise entered my ears. It sounded a bit like a tortured animal and frightened me terribly.

I was about to turn around again when the sound of Royce nasal voice echoed from behind a shelf at the other side of the room.

"Yes! Oh fuck, yes!"

Before I could stop myself I walked over to where his voice was coming from and peaked through a hole in the wooden shelf.

At first what I saw didn't make any sense to me. Flower was leaning against the wall with her skirts pulled up, exposing a pair of perfect caramel skinned thighs. My husband was hovering over her while she whimpered against his neck.

"Oh yes, yes. You have no idea how much I missed that."

She whimpered again and when she turned her head to the side I could see some tears rolling down her cheeks.

Why in heaven's name did she let him do that to her? He wasn't her husband but mine.

"Tell me you like it, you little whore." he groaned before he pushed her even harder against the wall.

"Tell me, I'm better than him! Tell me, you piece of shit."

"You…you…," her voice trembled and a moment later he stilled above her. Then he pulled back and fumbled with the buttons on his trousers.

"You told me you loved me and now you've hurt me with what you've done." she stumbled out, wiping her running nose with the sleeve of her dress.

He chuckled and cupped her face roughly between his hands to kiss her mouth. Her reaction to his kiss didn't seem to please him because suddenly he slapped her right across the face.

"Try to bite me one more time and I'm going to knock out each of your teeth. And if you don't start befriending my silly wife soon…"

"Miss Isabella doesn't like me, there isn't much that I can do about that."

"I don't care! I need someone near her who has an eye on her while I'm gone."

He slapped her again and pulled her roughly on her long hair.

"If you mess things up, I promise I'm going to send you work on the fields for the rest of your life."

"Edw…, I mean Mr. Edward would never ever let this happen. He loves me."

"I think I fucking told you not to say his name in my presence, Flower! My cousin is not here now and even when he returns to Twilight he can't protect you forever. He probably won't want you anymore once I shove it in his stupid face that I have taken you here, in his favorite room in the entire house. I'm planning on taking everything what was his and turn it into mine…in every sense of the word."


	6. Chapter 6

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Thanks and hugs to all of you who keep reading and reviewing. Your support and encouragement means more to me than you'll ever know.

*I'd love to have a banner for this story, so if one of you is good at creating them pm me.*

****Chapter 6****

_To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved_

_(George MacDonald)_

My fingertips moved gently over the delicate petals of the daffodils while Pixie continued to fan cold air on my overheated face. It was so warm today and I cursed myself for all the layers of clothes I had to wear while I was out in the sun, all for the sake of keeping my porcelain skin from getting freckles.

"Do you like the yellow flowers?" she asked me curiously, wiping some grass from her skirt when she stood up again from the ground.

"They are pretty."

"Do you want me to ask Texas to cut some of them for your room?"

"No! I don't want you to talk to him. He's…dangerous."

"Oh Miss Isabella, you're not afraid of him, are you?"

She handed me a glass of lemonade that I emptied thirstily in one big gulp.

"Aren't you?" I asked her back, pulling a tissue out of my sleeve to wipe a bit of sweat from my forehead.

"Why would I be afraid of such a poor being? I don't know that the Missus has told you about him but I assure you that Texas is not dangerous, at least not for me."

I shook my head and stood up from the bench I had been sitting on. Somehow for a reason I couldn't tell I felt the almost unbearable urge to protect her. She was so lighthearted and I didn't want anyone to take that away from her. It seemed so incredibly precious to me.

"I still don't want you to go near him. Do you hear me, Pixie?"

"Yes, Miss." she seemed a bit too sad about my order but it was only for her own good.

"We should go back inside the house now. It's getting way too warm out here for my liking."

"Yes, Miss." Slowly she grabbed my umbrella and my book from the bench before she followed me into the house. When we were inside my room I kicked my shoes of and lifted my skirts and petticoats a bit before I sat down on an armchair in the corner.

I realized the slight frown on Pixies face and didn't like it one tiny bit. What in heaven's name was wrong with her?

"Is something wrong with you, Pixie?"

"No, Miss. Everything is fine, Miss."

A low sigh escaped my throat before I spoke up again, trying not to make my voice sound rude.

"I don't want you to lie to me. Are we clear about that? Now spit out what's wrong."

"You won't allow me to talk to Texas and I enjoy doing that a great deal."

"Don't tell me you're in love with him or something like that. Christ, you are a house slave and could do so much better."

"I'm not in love with him. We both grew up on the same plantation and that's why I feel close to him somehow."

I stood up from my chair and walked over to her, carefully lifting the collar of her cotton blouse away from her neck to take a look at her upper back. To my immense relief I couldn't see any scars, just perfectly unharmed skin.

"Miss, what are you doing?"

"Nothing," I stumbled out, pulling back from her again. "I just wanted to make sure…well, I don't know."

"He's not a bad man, you know? Texas is a good man. His only mistake is that he's too proud. Being proud is a bad thing for a slave. He kept complaining too much because they didn't give us enough to eat. Texas is good with people and so they made him train the new slaves when they arrived on the plantation. Some of them run away and when he didn't tell the slave master where they had gone he punished him. It was horrible and he didn't even yell. Not one single time, of all the times they whipped him. Maybe they had stopped when he had screamed or whimpered, if he had shown any kind of reaction to the whipping but he didn't. The master thought he wasn't right in the head that's why he sold him to Twilight."

I sat down on a chair and she took a brush from the dresser to run it gently through my hair. My scalp prickled a bit from her gentle strokes and a low sigh escaped my throat.

"That feels nice," I mumbled, closing my eyes for a moment to focus better on the pleasant feeling.

"Do you want me to wash your hair too?" she asked me when she rolled it up into a knot at the back of my head.

"Maybe tomorrow,"

"Fine, we can do it in the morning. Then it will have enough time to dry, Miss Isabella."

XXXXX

Sometimes I hated being a lady with an almost incredible passion. I was a curious person by nature and although my parents had spent a tone of our non-existent fortune on several expensive French governesses, they still hadn't managed to get it into the thick scull of mine to stop asking too many questions. Ladies don't ask questions, especially not some that concern physical relationships between men and women.

"Isabella, my dear, it's so nice to see you well again." Esme greeted me when she entered the library.

I put the book I had been reading down on my lap and gave her a warm smile. She was so nice and welcoming to me. I couldn't not start to like her. It wasn't her fault how her nephew treated me, what kind of person he seemed to be. My palms started sweating and my heartbeat increased suddenly when I remembered the horrible things I had witnessed last night. Wasn't adultery a mortal sin or something close to that? But if my husband committed it with a slave girl, did it really count for adultery?

"You seem to be a bit dreamily today, my dear. Is something bothering you?"

My cheeks blushed and I wished that I had worn my hair down so that I could use it as a shield to hide my reddened face behind it.

"So, there is." Esme stated, taking my hand in hers to squeeze it gently.

"Look, my dear, I'm not your mother but as she can't be here with you right now, if you have anything on your heart, no matter what you can tell me."

I nodded my head and cleared my throat nervously before I spoke up.

"Can I ask you something? It's probably not appropriate but…,"

"But you still want to know, don't you?"

"Hmm,"

"Am I assuming right that it's not something that you would like to discuss with your husband?"

"Yes, Miss Esme. It's a bit…embarrassing. Last night…last night I kind of caught him…kissing Flower in a corner of…,"

"Enough!"

I cringed slightly and dropped my book on the ground. When I leaned forward to pick it up again the metal strings of my corset cut so painfully into my ribs that I gasped for air.

"I'm sorry, Miss Esme. I shouldn't have brought it up. It really is inappropriate, isn't it?"

She pulled a tissue out of the sleeve of her shirt and wiped her eyes with it.

"Try to ignore it, my dear. That's the best advice I can give you, from woman to woman."

"Ignore it?" my voice raised two octaves and she seemed to misunderstand my reaction a bit because suddenly she leaned forward and wrapped her arms around me.

"My poor girl, I know how difficult it is. But sometimes it's best if a wife gives her husband some…freedom when it comes to that sort of thing. Men have a much stronger urges for physical…relations than women."

She planted a kiss on my forehead and sighed deeply.

"Think of it like that. If he gets his…urges satisfied in another bed you won't have to be to his will whenever he feels…well, whenever he feels like it."

Flower entered the room, carrying a huge bucket with water and a mop in her arms.

"Good evening, Missus…_Miss_,"

I noticed that her eyes were all red and puffy. When she realized that I noticed it she quickly leaned forward and started scrubbing the floor. A bit of the water splashed over the hem of Esme's dress and before I could blink twice she pulled Flower up on her ear.

"You stupid, nigger, are you too stupid to do anything right?"

Flower swallowed hard but kept her face in the usual frown.

"I'm sorry, Ma'am," she whispered so low that her voice was barely audible

"You don't look too sorry to me, Flower. Look, I don't care what kind of nonsense my husband and my son have put into that head of yours. But you need to accept your place in this house. You're just a nigger, always have been, always will be. Nothing about that is ever going to change."

XXXXX

Back at home the kitchen had always been my favorite room in the house. I loved the warmth and the different scents of herbs and spices that filled the air. Here I would barely have an opportunity to spend time there. They had several slaves that worked in the kitchen, apart from the cook herself who was a grumpily women with bad teeth.

I had sent Pixie down there to get me something for dinner about half an hour ago and my stomach was starting to growl a bit. Still, she didn't return and for some weird reason I started to worry about her.

After another few minutes I had spent literally on the edge of my chair I decided to go down myself to check on her. Maybe she just had started to babble with some of the kitchen girls, it would suit her. Pixie seemed to be the type of girl who could talk for hours.

When I entered the kitchen I almost bumped against a tall man with greasy blond hair that was put into a short ponytail. His arm was placed on Pixie's shoulder and her lips were trembling slightly. Was she afraid of him? When he saw me his lips curved into a crooked smile that made him look like a shark.

"Evening, Miss. Pleasure to make your acquaintance,"

"Who are you?" I stumbled out, trying to suppress the anger in my voice.

He chuckled and pushed Pixie away from him so harshly that she almost stumbled over a sack with potatoes on the ground.

"My name is James Tracker and I'm the slave master here on Twilight. No runaway nigger has ever managed to escape me. Mr. Carlisle and Mr. Royce trust me a lot and give me plenty of rope to handle those kinds of things on my own."

I nodded my head and noticed the tray filled with roast beef and yam standing on the counter.

"Is there a reason, why you are distracting my maid from bringing me my dinner like I told her to?"

"No, there isn't, Miss. Me and Pixie just got a bit lost in…conversation." He licked his upper lip and she shrugged back until she was pressed against the wall behind her.

"Well, I hope you're finished now. I'd like to eat my dinner as long as it's still warm."

He chuckled again before he ducked his head and walked out of the kitchen. For a long awkward moment Pixie remained standing where she was, somehow unable to move one single inch.

Then she sighed deeply and grabbed the tray with trembling hands, carefully making sure not to drop it down.

"I'm sorry about that, Miss Isabella." she murmured when we were back in my room.

"He was waiting for me down in the kitchen and it's so difficult to shake him off."

"You're afraid of him, aren't you?"

"Is that so obvious, Miss, because I don't want him to know I am. It would only make me more…appealing to Tracker, I guess."

I cleared my throat and crossed my arms in front of my chest, fighting the impulse to cup her delicate face in my hand in order to comfort her. It pained me that she seemed to be so frightened of him.

"Tell him, I forbid you to talk to him when he tries to do it the next time." I told her when I sat down on the edge of my bed.

"Yes, Miss."

She kneeled down and helped me out of my crinoline.

"Can you do me a favor?" I asked her while I tried to ignore the coolness of her fingertips on my ankles when she pulled down my shoes. It felt way better to me than it probably should.

"I'd really love to have some of those yellow flowers for my room."


	7. Chapter 7

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Thanks and hugs to all of you who keep supporting me with your kind reviews. Your feedback really means a lot to me and motivates me to continue writing.

****Chapter 7****

_Love is much like a wild rose, beautiful and calm, but willing to draw blood in its defense_

_(Mark Overby)_

Washing my long hair was a time-consuming procedure that I usually didn't enjoy at all. It took forever to comb out the knots in the length afterwards and Beta had used to pull on them with so much force that my entire scalp was burning afterwards.

But today everything was different. I don't know how she managed to do it but when Pixie's delicate fingers moved over my head to massage the soap into my damp hair it felt amazingly pleasant. Her touch was feather light and I leaned back in the tub enjoying the gentle caresses with half opened eyes.

"Am I doing it okay, Miss?" she whispered into my ear, tickling the skin right underneath my earlobe with her warm breathe. A shiver went down my spine and I wondered how it was possible to feel warm and cold at exactly the same moment.

"Better," I mumbled, trying to suppress a low moan that was about to escape my throat.

"That's fine, Miss. Your hair is so soft it feels like…like nothing I have ever felt before. I wanted to wash and touch it since the first time I saw it." Her voice was nothing but a whisper and if her mouth hadn't been directly above my ear, I wouldn't have heard her speak at all. Somehow it almost seemed as if she was a bit embarrassed about her confession.

She poured some water over my head and rinsed the soap that smelled deliciously of lavender and lemon out of my hair. Then she wrapped a towel around it and helped me out of the tub. I stumbled over its edge and landed flat on top of her, naked like on the day I had come into this world.

I tried to stand up but she wrapped her arms around my waist and helped me to sit up on the ground.

"Did you hurt yourself, Miss?"

"No, I didn't. I just have a tendency to embarrass myself with my clumsiness all the time. I didn't hurt you when I threw you over, did I?"

She shook her head and wrapped a towel over my quivering body. Again I wasn't quite sure if it was the cold morning air that made me shiver or her presence. It was like she had managed to put some wondrously spell on my body that made it react in the most random kind of ways.

"Miss, are you okay? You seem so pale right now, well paler than you usually do."

She took my hand in hers and helped me to sit up on the edge of the bed where she quickly started to dress me again. When she pulled my stockings up my thighs, I felt the muscles in my stomach tightening. God, what in heaven's name was wrong with me?

"Your skin is white like milk, so beautiful" she murmured when she closed the buttons of my chemise with trembling fingertips. Somehow she seemed to be as irritated as I was and that confused me even more. Was it possible that she could sense that she was the cause of my suddenly increased heartbeat? No that couldn't be, could it?

She sat down behind me and started to comb my hair, carefully making sure not to pull too much on it.

"You're the prettiest white lady, I've ever seen and you're so kind too. I'm so happy that you've chosen me as your maid."

I nodded my head because my mouth felt suddenly to dry to speak any words at all.

"Miss Angela was kind too, but not as pretty as you are." She told me when she braided my hair in order to help it dry in soft curls.

"Who is Miss Angela?" I asked her reaching for the mug with water that was standing next to the bed. Pixie grabbed it and poured me a glass that I emptied in one gulp. When I handed it back to her my fingertips brushed against hers and I heard us both gasping for air in the same moment.

"I'm sorry, Miss."

"About what?" I whispered hoarsely. "You didn't do anything wrong."

"You seemed to be so…started when I touched you. Are you sure there isn't anything wrong, Miss?"

I took her hand and rubbed my thumb over her wrist. Her skin was soft and smooth like velvet and that surprised me when I thought about the hard work they had probably made her do in the kitchen. For a few awkward moments she seemed tensed but then she started to relax a tiny bit. It was essential that she trusted me if I wanted to be able to trust her too. Maybe it was wrong to want to touch her like that. She was my slave and not my friend. But somehow in a way that I couldn't help it I was about to cross that line whether I wanted it to or not.

XXXXX

My husband's uncle was a quiet man that spent almost the entire day inside his office talking to several other plantation owners that came to Twilight in order to sell new slaves or start trade with other goods like Cotton or Tabaco. Twilight was a rich place and it wasn't unusual that poorer people tried to borrow money from Carlisle Cullen.

Nettie had informed me that he wanted to speak to me and the way she had spoken had made it pretty obvious to me that it wasn't going to be a pleasant conversation.

When I was about to knock at the door of his office I noticed that it wasn't closed completely and I could hear two people inside that were arguing with each other.

"It's not my fault that she doesn't like me."

"Yes, of course it is. Just like it's my wife's fault that she doesn't like you or like it was Miss Angela's fault that she never liked you."

"That's different. Your wife hated me from the moment I was born and Miss Angela wouldn't have been so jealous of me if you'd allowed Edw…,"

"Enough, Flower. I think I already made it clear to you and him that I don't wish you to talk about things that are not…necessary to talk about. Your brother won't be here for the next weeks and you need to stop angering everyone in this house with your behavior."

I knocked on the door and wiped my sweating hands on my dress when Carlisle called. "Come in,"

"Good morning, Isabella. How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine, thank you. Nettie told me that you wanted to see me."

He nodded his head and for a moment I saw his hand petting the bare skin on Flowers forearm. When he noticed that I was watching them, he dropped his hand and cleared his throat.

"You may go now, Flower and try to work a bit on that temper of yours."

"Yes, Sir, I will." She murmured, grabbing the tray with his almost untouched breakfast from his desk before she rushed out of the room.

"You aren't angry at her because of the maid thing, are you? It's not like she has done anything wrong."

His mouth twitched for a moment before he gestured for me to take a seat on the chair in front of his table.

"Flower is pretty stubborn for a slave girl. She inherited that from her mother. Maybe I should have done something about that sooner."

"Why are you so concerned about her? If you are not content with the way she works you could sell her off."

"No, I couldn't. She's belongs to my son and he would never, ever allow for her to be sold."

I nodded my head and before I could manage to keep myself from stopping the words left my mouth.

"He's in love with her, isn't he?"

Carlisle raised one eyebrow and sipped on the glass of brandy on his table. It was obviously from whom my husband had inherited his preference for drinking alcohol. His uncle was sort of a father figure for him and I wondered if he maybe just did it in order to look like a real man to him.

"You always say what you think, don't you, Isabella?"

"I'm sorry," I stumbled out, trying to hide me embarrassed blush under my long hair when I pulled it quickly over my shoulder.

"You don't need to apologize for it. Just do me a favor and don't mention that sort of thing in front of my wife. It would worry her unnecessarily."

I nodded my head and cleared my throat nervously before I spoke up again.

"Why did you want to see me? You have barely spoken to me at all since the wedding."

He sighed deeply and took another sip from the light brown liquid in his hand.

"I was busy with keeping this plantation running, something that usually is handled by your husband if he hasn't told you about that yet."

"He might have mentioned it briefly. Do you want to talk about Royce?" I asked him, trying to keep my voice calm.

"No, he's not the reason, I wanted to see you. That's Flower. I wanted to ask you to let her work as your maid again. She's not good at doing kitchen work and as there is no point in asking my wife to let Flower become her personal maid…,"

He emptied his glass and placed it back on the table where it left a brownish mark on the light wood.

"I really like the girl that works as my maid now. She seems very…devoted to me. That's nothing I would like to say good bye to."

"But she's not a trained maid, is she? Flower could teach her all the things she needs to know in order to do her job properly."

"I assume she could." I mumbled towards the floor, staring down at my glove covered hands.

XXXX

"You aren't going to send me back to work in the kitchen again, are you, Miss?" Pixie asked me worriedly when she helped me to step out of my crinoline. When she loosened the strings of my corset I sighed in relief. It was so much better to breathe without it on and so I inhaled deeply through my nose, enjoying how the air filled my lungs completely.

"No, I won't. You don't have to worry about that. Like I told you before, I'm glad to have you as my maid."

"And Flower? She told me that she's going to work for you too. You don't need two maids, do you?"

I shook my head and lifted my arms when she pulled my night gown over my, sending another wave of warmth through my body when her fingertips brushed over the exposed skin on my back.

"She's going to show you all the things you need to know as my maid but she's not going to replace you. I won't let that happen."

She seemed to be pleased about my answer and a smile flashed over her face when she pulled the blankets over me in order to keep me warm.

"Good night, Miss. I'll see you in the morning."

When she was almost at the door I sighed deeply before I spoke up.

"Wait,"

She turned around and curtsied.

"Is there anything more that you need, Miss? Something to drink perhaps or more blankets?"

I shook my head and grabbed the fabric of her cotton apron between my fingers.

"Can you just do me a favor and sit here with me until I fall asleep. I feel so lonely here all by myself."

"If you want me too, Miss." she whispered, sitting down next to me on the bed. Her thumb circled over my cheekbone for a moment before she put a wisp of my hair behind my ear with trembling fingertips.

"I'll sit here with you. I'd do anything for you, Miss."

I reached out my hand and interlaced my fingers with hers; somehow wanting to make sure she would stay right where she was, because in a way, in a wrong way, I was terribly afraid to let her go.


	8. Chapter 8

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Thanks and hugs to all of you who keep reading and reviewing. It means more to me than you'll ever know. I'm sorry that I'm so much behind with review-replying but let me tell you that I cherish each single one of them.

This chapter is dedicated to **DaPhoenix** because I like the way she thinks…

****Chapter 8****

_Kisses are like tears, the only real ones are the ones you can't hold back_

_(Author Unknown)_

I wasn't good as socializing with other people and so I was awfully nervous when Esme suggested that she wanted to introduce me to some of our neighbors. Pixie had noticed my nervousness when I had spilled my tea all over the hem of my grey silk dress, making it necessary to change into another before I could meet Esme and the visitors in the sunroom.

"Are you afraid about meeting the other ladies?" Pixie whispered into my ear when she closed the buttons of my apple green organza dress.

"No, I'm not." I lied while I tried to ignore the strange tingly feeling deep down in my stomach when her fingertips touched my neck very lightly.

"They will like you," she mumbled, wrapping a silk ribbon around my hair before she stepped back.

I nodded my head and forced my lips into the weak attempt of a smile before I walked out of the room. Somehow I wished I could take her with me. It was her who made me feel secure, her who made me feel beautiful although I thought of myself as nothing but plain.

When I entered the sunroom Esme and the rest of them were already waiting for me and I blushed a bit when I noticed that I was probably late.

"Isabella, my dear, it's good that you are finally here. Let me introduce you to some of our dearest friends. These are Margret and Theodore Weber."

Mr. Weber took my hand to blow a kiss over my knuckles. Both he and his wife were dressed completely in black and I assumed that they must have had a case of death not too long ago. It would probably be impolite to ask them about it. Mrs. Weber made a brief comment on my dress before Esme put her hand on my shoulder to introduce me to a tall young woman with curly brown hair and a snub nose.

"Isabella, this is your husband's cousin, Miss Jessica Newton. Her older brother Michael owns the neighbor plantation, Newton Manor's."

"Pleasure to make your acquaintance, Miss. Newton," I mumbled when Jessica offered me her glove covered hand.

"The pleasure is on my side, Mrs. King. I was so curious about finally meeting Royce wife. He's such a good catch, well maybe not as good as his cousin but still…I'm dying to hear how you managed to lull him in."

We sat down around a round table and Flower walked in carrying a tray with tea and biscuits on her left hip that she placed in the middle of the table.

"Is there anything else, I can get you, Missus?" she asked Esme in an overly sweetly voice. Maybe she had taken Carlisle's advice to get her temper under control serious and was now trying to be politer.

"No, that's everything. You may go back to your work now, Flower." Esme murmured, wiping her forehead with a tissue. It was going to be a warm day again and I wished I could spend the evening in a shadowy place instead of sitting here with a bunch of strangers whom I would probably never feel close to.

"So," Jessica like she insisted I should call her, started after taking a small sip from her tea.

"Please, tell us Esme. Isn't your son coming back anytime soon? Edward has been away from Twilight now for over a year."

Esme sighed and wiped her mouth on a napkin.

"Maybe he'll be home come for Christmas. His father and I miss him dearly. It's horrible to know your only child so far away from home."

Mrs. Weber sighed deeply and started playing with the onyx brooch on her throat before she nervously spoke up.

"The poor boy needs to move on again, maybe even find a new wife."

Jessica's blue eyes started to sparkle when she said that and her face turned into a priggish grin.

"I know, Margret, but you know how my Edward is like…he's so stubborn and the whole…incident with Angie broke his heart."

"A heart can't be broken," Jessica stated, folding her arms in her lap.

"That's some romantic nonsense for niggers and as far as I remember Angela and your son didn't get married out of romantic reasons."

"Maybe not in the beginning, but they developed a…liking in each other. That's far more than what most people achieve during a lifelong marriage."

"Speaking of niggers," Mr. Weber murmured, stuffing half of a cookie between his lips.

"Can you tell me why you're still keeping the yellow nigger girl around? Didn't you tell my wife that want to get rid of her as soon as possible?"

Esme sighed deeply and added two spoons of sugar into her tea before she took a small sip from it.

"Carlisle has signed her over to Edward to make sure I can't sell the stupid girl behind his back. I've never met such an arrogant slave in my whole life and it gets worth with every single day."

"Flower is a good maid." I whispered hoarsely, feeling somehow the need to stand up for her. Yes, Flower was arrogant but she was also a poor soul. None of the other house slaves seemed to like her one tiny bit and the men inside the house, including my husband and his uncle seemed to lust after her as if she was sort of an animal.

"I still wouldn't buy her. She would only bring agitation into our house. If you asked me they should drown bastards like her right after they were born. This would keep us all the trouble of dealing with light-skinned slaves who think themselves as good as whites. They'll never be white, no matter who their fathers…,"

"Miss Newton, please. We don't wish to talk about such unpleasant topics. Do you care for another cup of tea?" Esme interrupted, obviously having trouble to keep her voice calm.

Jessica nodded her head and sighed deeply.

"Our Michael is still glad that Carlisle agreed to buy this maniac. Texas is more animal than man and I seriously feared for my life whenever I run into him in the garden."

"Texas was your slave?" I stumbled out, almost dropping the cup of tea I was holding down on the table with trembling fingertips.

"I assume that means you've already met him. Just follow my advice and stay away from him. He's the kind of slave that would slice your throat from behind or put crumbled glass into your food…,"

"Miss Newton, I don't think it's appropriate for a young lady to discuss this sort of things." Mr. Weber stated reproachfully.

"My husband is actually right, Miss Newton. Maybe you wouldn't have to worry so much about your slaves harming you, if your brother wouldn't insist on letting them starve."

"Never heard that fat niggers work harder, it only makes them lazier. We are proud how we handle things on Newton Manor's. Not all of us are interested in being called nigger friends behind our backs."

XXXX

I closed my eyes for a moment and enjoyed the cool breeze of the wind on my overheated face. The place Pixie had chosen to rest outside in the warmth of the evening was lovely. A tiny meadow surrounded by huge oak trees. Twilight was such a beautiful plantation and I hadn't even seen half of it.

She poured me a glass of lemonade that I emptied in one big gulp before I turned my attention to the book on my lap. Romeo and Juliet was one of my favorites and although the end made me always cry I still had read it several times all over again.

"What's the book about?" Pixie asked me suddenly, while she continued braiding some daisies into a floral wreath.

"Is that the one about god?"

I raised one eyebrow and cleared my throat before I spoke up again.

"No, that's not the bible, although I probably should be reading it more often. It would help me to become a better person."

She shook her head and dropped the flowers to the ground before she took my hand in hers and planted a kiss on my palm. When her lips touched my skin I instantly stopped breathing.

"You couldn't be any better than you are, Miss. Don't let anyone tell you different."

I felt the tears starting to burn in my eyes and swallowed hard to keep them from falling. In my whole life no one had ever spoken such kind words to me.

"Miss?"

"I'm okay, just a bit…confused. Do you still want to know about the book?"

She nodded her head and crossed her legs underneath her skirt when she sat down in front of me, looking at me with those huge dark brown eyes. I could barely manage to look at them without feeling my insides tingle inside of me. What in heaven's name was this girl doing to me?

"Well, the book is called Romeo and Juliet and it's about…a young man and a lady who are deeply in love with each other but because their families are mortal enemies…,"

"Why are they enemies?" she asked me curiously, wiping away a bit of grass from the hem of my dress. I could feel the touch of her fingers through all the layers of my clothing and heat spread though my entire body. It made my cheeks blush into a bright crimson color.

"I don't know. The book doesn't say anything about the reason for the feud."

"But that's important, isn't it? Master Carlisle and Mr. Weber used to argue a lot too because they had some problem making out the border between Twilight and the Weber's plantation. But that stopped when Miss Angela…,"

"Who is Miss Angela?" I asked her, playing thoughtlessly with the little ribbons around my sleeve. Flower had helped Pixie to adjust them to my dress in an attempt to make it look more fashionable.

"Was, Miss Angela was Mr. Edwards wife. She was a kind lady and the young Mister was so miserable when she died."

"Oh, I see."

"Miss Jessica was determined to snag him herself but he never even looked at her twice. He knows what kind of person she is and now that he's not home, it won't be too easy for her to succeed." There was a bitter hint in her voice that I had never heard before and for a moment I wondered what was causing it.

"You don't seem to like Miss Jessica." I pointed out, rubbing the bridge of my nose with my thumb.

She stared down at the ground and plugged another daisy. Her fingertips crumbled the tiny petals into white dust. I noticed that her lips were trembling a bit but no words left her mouth.

"I'm sorry," she whispered after several awkward moments of silence.

"Don't have to be. I understand that you don't like her. She seems like an awful person and I promise you that you will never have to go back to live on her plantation."

She kissed the palm of my hand again before she turned it around and planted soft, feather light kisses on each of my knuckles.

I buried my reddened head in the book and turned to another page before I read out loud, somehow unable to suppress the slight trembling in my voice.

"_These violent delights have violent ends  
>And in their triumph die, like fire and powder<br>Which, as they kiss, consume"_

A low sob filled the air and when I raised my head I noticed that thick tears were falling down Pixie's face.

"Why are you crying now?" I asked her, leaning forward to brush the wetness away from her cheeks. She sniffed and wiped her running nose on the back of her hand.

"Because it's so…so beautiful and I feel so bad for them because their families hate each other and…,"

And I am definitely not going to tell her how the whole thing is going to end. It would probably break her heart. She was so fragile and I felt the unbearable urge to protect her.

"Shhh, please stop crying, or you going to make me regret it that I read something to you."

A deep sigh escaped her throat and she quickly shook her head in order to encourage me to continue reading. I didn't do it. Somehow my hands seemed to be unable to move one single inch away from her face. Slowly I stroked down her cheekbones until my trembling fingers touched the curve of her full mouth. It felt incredibly soft under my fingertips and before I could even think twice about what I was doing I pulled her closer, so close that I could feel her fast-paced breathing against my own mouth.

"Miss Isa…," my name died on her lips when I pressed mine against hers as gently as possible. Doing this is wrong, I tried to remind myself and yet when after a moment of hesitation she started to move her mouth with mine, I couldn't help but think how this was perfectly right. Something as heavenly as this couldn't be wrong, couldn't be a sin.

Her lips were softer than velvet and unlike my husband she didn't stuff her tongue down my throat. Instead I was the one who caressed her lower lip with the tip of my tongue, feeling the need to taste the sweetness of her mouth, to explore all of its secrets. I wanted her to me mine, all mine and somewhere deep inside of me I wanted to be all hers as well.


	9. Chapter 9

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Welcome back my lovely readers. Thanks and hugs to all of you who took the time to read and review the last chapter. Your amazing feedback means so much to me. It's your encouragement that keeps me writing.

****Chapter 9****

_I actually think that secrets are just a part of human nature and that everybody should have some.__  
><em>**_(_**_Elizabeth Banks_**_)_**

We didn't speak one single word after I finally managed to pull back from the earthshattering kiss. My eyes constantly met hers, always just able to linger on for not more than a split second. Each time though there seemed to be more questions burning in them and I was convinced that my own were exactly a mirror of hers.

In church they had taught me that all sins would be forgiven once you confessed and regret them. There was no way I was going to do that. Firstly because I couldn't, although I definitely should do it, I couldn't think of what had happened a few minutes ago as a sin. It had felt too right, too good to be something sent from the depth of hell to endanger my soul. Secondly and that part was probably the more severe one, there wasn't a way I could ever regret any second of it. Maybe this kiss had been my little glimpse of heaven, maybe my other end of the rainbow, whatever it was, whatever it was supposed to be, I craved for more of it.

Slowly we walked back to the house and when she lifted the hem of my dress a bit to keep me from stumbling over a stump on the ground, I felt my knees starting to tremble slightly. The air between us was so thick, so terribly tensed that you would have been able to cut it with a knife.

When we were eventually back inside my room and she closed the door behind us, I collapsed into a pile of green organza on the ground in front of my bed and buried my face in my hands.

Several dry sobs left my throat before finally, finally the first tears started to fall down my cheeks, leaving a trail of salty wetness all over my overheated face.

"Are you upset with me, my Miss?" Pixie whispered when she kneeled down next to me, gently putting one of her little hands on the small stripe of bare skin between the sleeve of my dress and my lace covered hand. The touch of her skin against mine was comforting and exciting at the same time.

Hesitantly I raised my head, blinking into her concerned face. When I realized that her beautiful dark eyes were wet too something cramped painfully around my heart with so much force that it knocked the breathe out of me.

"No, I'm not. It's more like I'm upset with myself. We shouldn't…I shouldn't have…it's inappropriate."

"Does that mean you didn't like it, Miss?" she whispered hoarsely, her lips trembling because she was desperately trying to hold back the tears that were already glistening in the corners of her eyes.

I shook my head and reached out my hand to place it gently on hers that was still on my arm.

My voice was nothing but a husky whisper when I managed to speak up again.

"Couldn't you feel how much I…how much I…how much I enjoyed doing that?"

She leaned forward and twisted a wisp of my hair around her fingers to pull my face closer to hers. Our second kiss made every single cell in my body tingle pleasantly and when I parted my lips a bit the tip of her tongue slipped into my mouth to massage my tongue in gentle circles.

None of us seemed to be able to break the contact of our mouths and I heard a low whimper escaping her throat when I sucked her bottom lip between my front teeth to suckle it hesitantly.

Someone knocked on the door and both of us pulled apart trying to get our breathing under control again.

I stood up from the ground and tried to flatten the hem of my dress a bit when the door was opened and Flower's head appeared in the doorframe. For some reason I couldn't tell she seemed to be in an overly joyful mood today and I highly doubted that my decision to let her train Pixie in everything she needed to know in order to be my maid, had anything to do with it.

"Good evening, Miss. Aren't you feeling well? You look a bit flushed. Did Pixie lace your corset too tightly?"

My corset was always, always too tight. It was an inevitable burden the current fashion brought with it. Right now though, while the traitorous beating of my heart didn't seem able to slow down, the lack of oxygen was even more exhausting.

I gasped for air that didn't reach my lungs and everything around me seemed to blur in front of my eyes.

"Can't…breathe," I croaked when I felt Flower behind my back, quickly fumbling with the buttons of my dress. She mumbled something to Pixie who seemed to be frozen in shock.

"Were you trying to kill her or something?" she snarled at her when she managed to loosen my corset a bit.

"You can't lace her so tightly when it's so warm. That's your responsibility to look after that. Now go and get her something cold to drink from the kitchen while she lays down a bit. Dear Jesus, you really don't know a thing about ladies and their weak…constitution, do you?"

I sighed deeply. Now that I was able to breathe in and out fully my mind seemed to be able to function properly again. She had almost caught us, kissing on our lips, god that would have been devastating.

"Pixie? Are you deaf or something like that? Stop rubbing your mouth and go to the kitchen to…,"

"Don't talk to her like that, Flower. It's not her fault." It was totally mine, I added silently in my head.

Flower cringed and rinsed a cloth in the mug of water on the dresser before she pressed it carefully against my forehead.

"I know, Miss."

Slowly I leaned back against the fluffy pillows on my bed while Pixie tried to fan some cold air to me with peacock feathers she grabbed from a vase that was standing in the corner of the room.

"Is she going to faint, Flower?" her voice sounded horrified now and I wished we were alone so that I could take her hand in mine to squeeze it gently. I wanted to tell her that everything was alright with me. It was just the too tight corset and the kiss…well, mostly the kiss probably that had caused my dizzy spell.

"I'm going to be fine," I whispered. "Don't worry about me,"

Pixie nodded her head before she rushed out of the room to get the drink for me from the kitchen.

When I rubbed my eyes with the wet cloth I noticed a tiny horseshoe hanging around Flower's slim neck on a brown leather cord.

"What is that supposed to be, a horseshoe for the tiniest horse in the world or something like that?"

Her cheeks blushed into a warm red color before her hand closed around the little horseshoe.

"That was a gift from Bear. He thinks it's going to bring me luck or something like that."

"Hmm,"

I realized that it was the first time I was alone with Flower and before I could think twice about what I was doing the words left my lips.

"Are you going to tell me why you hated me so much when I arrived here?"

She sighed deeply and took a dark blue dress out of my closet. Her trembling fingertips touched the silk fabric before she wrapped it over a chair and started flattening the ruffles on it with the back of her hands.

"Hate…I didn't hate you. God, Miss Isabella, you have no idea how much I envy you."

"Envy me?" my voice raised two octaves.

"Yes, I envy you. You have no idea how it's like…to belong nowhere. I can't be white because of my mother and I can't be black because of my father, it's like I'm in the middle of a huge lake and I will never be able to reach the shore on either one of the sides no matter how hard I try."

"I'm sorry about that…I mean that things are so complicated for you."

"Don't pity me." Her voice was sharp like a razorblade. Damn it, she was proud, too proud for a slave girl.

Pixie returned from the kitchen and placed a tray with a mug of lemonade next to me on the bed. When she poured me a glass and handed it to me I almost spilled the content of it all over the blankets.

"Nettie is about to lose it completely. She's yelling at anyone down there. So much fuzz just because the young Master is coming home tomorrow."

Flowers eyes began to sparkle with anticipation and when she turned to Pixie her voice was sweet and smooth like honey.

"Can you do me a favor and talk to the crazy…I mean could you talk to Texas to cut some lilac for the rooms downstairs. Edw….I mean Mr. Edward likes that a great deal." It was obvious that she wanted to please her master. I had never seen her show so much affection to anyone. Was it possible that she was in love with him? No, that couldn't be? Could it?

"I will. Oh and Nettie wants you to help her with fixing the new dress of the Missus. She wants to wear it tomorrow."

Flower's mouth twitched for a split second before her face turned into a frown.

"Oh, suddenly I'm good enough for fixing her dress. She's such a hypocrite, it's unbelievable."

With that she rushed out of the room, leaving me finally alone with Pixie. There was so much to say and yet so much that should better never be spoken about.

She sat down on the edge of my bed and stared down at the blankets.

"Look at me," I whispered while I reached out my hand to put a finger under her chin.

She raised her head and her mouth curved into a bright smile.

"I don't know what to say, Miss."

"Neither do I, something like _that_ has never happened before." I murmured, caressing her face with trembling fingertips.

"But you're still allowing me to stay your handmaid, will you?" she asked me worriedly.

"Of course, I want to keep you as my maid. But what happened between us…the kiss…_the kisses_ that didn't have anything to do with me being your mistress and you being my slave girl."

Hesitantly she reached out her hands and wrapped them around my neck, pulling me closer.

"Can I kiss you again?"

"Yes, please."

A heartbeat later her warm, soft lips were on mine and I couldn't hold back a low moan from escaping my throat when her tongue touched mine, massaging and circling it gently.

"I wanted to do that since the first moment I saw you, Miss. You are so beautiful and kind. I can't stop thinking about you whether I'm awake or not."

"Pixie…," her name came out like a husky whisper. She rested her head against my chest and I started circling my forefinger over the shell of her ear, noticing a little jagged scar right underneath her hairline for the first time.

"Shouldn't I have said that?"

I plated a kiss on her cheek and nuzzled my face against the hollow of her throat. She smelled incredibly good and I inhaled as deeply through my nose as possible to absorb as much of it as I could.

"No one can ever know. It has to stay a secret between me and you."


	10. Chapter 10

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Welcome back my lovely readers. Thanks and hugs to those of you who keep reading and reviewing. It means so much to me.

****Chapter 10****

_Close your eyes and see the beauty_

_(Author unknown)_

Tortured, that's how he looked like. The deep purple bruises underneath his eyes were visible through the pale skin and the line around his jaw was sharp as if he had lost a huge amount of weight in the last months.

He briefly hugged his father who made a comment about his son looking too thin. Then he took his mother's hand to blow a kiss over its back.

"Mother…,"

She pulled a tissue out of her sleeve and wiped some tears from her cheeks before she cleared her throat nervously.

"It's so good to have you back home, my poor boy. You look famished. Why didn't you eat properly over there?"

"I didn't really feel like eating," he murmured, running his fingers through his hair in order to tame a single curl of his reddish hair that equaled Esme's so much.

Then he turned to me and his lips twitched into the tiniest attempt of a polite smile.

"You must be Isabella, Royce's wife. My name is Edward Cullen and it's a pleasure to meet you."

I curtsied and when he took my hand in his to kiss it I noticed that his hands were cold as ice, almost lifeless. He really seemed to heart the loss of his wife deeply and that instantly sent a wave of compassion to me. I bet Royce wouldn't be half as sad if I would die unexpectedly.

"Where is Flower?" he asked his father and for the first time since Edward had entered the hall I had the impression that he really cared about something.

"You're home for like two minutes and the first thing you are asking about is this cocky, barefaced nigger girl." Esme stated reproachfully, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

He chuckled lowly and cleared his throat before he spoke up.

"I'll talk to her about that kind of inappropriate behavior but I have a certain feeling that you're terribly overreacting again, dear mother."

"Just ask, Isabella here. She didn't want to have her as her maid."

"Really? What did Flower do to upset you? Was she rude or something like that?"

I blushed and started playing with the ribbons on the hem of my dress before I whispered.

"That was just my first impression. We get along now and she's training the girl I have chosen as my personal maid quite fine."

Flower rushed down the stairs carrying a huge tray with cake and a carafe with lemonade in her hands. She smiled all over her face when she saw Edward and for a split second he smiled back at her, his green eyes framed by some laugh lines before he managed to get his facial expression under control.

"Welcome home, E…, I mean welcome home, Mr. Edward. You look horribly thin. I 'll have to do something about that. Do you want to have some cake? I made the cook bake all your favorites for your coming home."

XXXX

I was surprised to hear music coming from the library. There was a piano standing in front of the window but no one had ever played on it since I had come here. It was such a beautiful melody that it almost managed to bring tears to my eyes. For a moment I just remained standing at the doorframe, listening to the sound of it before I finally walked in. Flower was sitting next to Edward on the piano bench, her head resting against his shoulder.

"I missed you so much; this place sucks when you're not around."

"You know that I hate it when you talk like that. It's not really lady like."

She stuck her tongue out at him like a four year out and he burst out into laughter. When he realized what he was doing he pressed his hands in front of his mouth as if he had done something completely forbidden.

"It's okay, you know, Edward. She wouldn't mind it if you started to live again, to laugh again. Miss Angela wouldn't want you to suffer and mourn the rest of your life."

He sighed and wrapped his arm around her shoulder. Then he leaned forward and planted a kiss on her cheek.

"You're such a dear girl, if you manage to calm that temper of yours."

I dropped the book I had been holding in my hands on the ground and that noise made both of them turn around.

Instantly I blushed and kneeled down to pick it up again. It was so embarrassing that I had caught them here together.

Flower was next to me before I could even blink. She handed me the book and cleared her voice nervously.

"Here, Miss Isabella. I have to check on some of your clothes now before Pixie burns all of them with the irons."

With that she was gone and I remained alone with my husband's cousin, who continued playing the piano as if nothing had happened.

"Do you know how to play?" he asked me suddenly looking up from the ebony and ivory colored keys.

"Not well," I confessed.

"Too bad, it would have been good to have someone here to play it for me when I'm gone. It gets terribly off-resonance when it's not used. I tried to teach Flower some songs but she's not really patient enough to learn it."

"You and Flower are pretty close, aren't you?" I asked him, already regretting the words as soon as they had left my lips. It was so stupid and inappropriate to talk about that kind of stuff.

For some reason I couldn't tell he didn't seem to be offended by it though. He gestured for me to sit down on a chair next to the piano and sighed deeply.

"I assume that Royce has already told you about me and Flower. And I've also seen the way he looks at her and I didn't like it one tiny bit."

I was a hundred percent sure he wouldn't like it the slightest bit more if he knew about what had happened between my husband and Flower behind the last shelf of the library.

"Is Flower the reason why you and Royce don't get along with each other, because you both want her?" The two of them fighting over the same woman was something that reminded me of one of the novels I had read. As far as I remembered they had killed each other over defending the girl's honor. It was unlikely that something like that would happen here. Flower was just some slave girl after all, a pretty one that fact wasn't deniable but a slave girl nether the less.

"Isabella," he started hesitantly, running his fingers though his hair that was already damp in the neck. It was awfully warm today and I wished it wouldn't have been necessary to wear so many layers of clothes.

"I shouldn't be the one telling you this but your husband isn't exactly what I would refer to as a gentleman. If you want to remain happy in your marriage I'd suggest closing your eyes from his escapades…,"

"So, the two of you are sharing the same girl?" I stumbled out, my voice raising two octaves.

The edge of his mouth twitched and his green eyes narrowed into tiny slits before he spoke up again.

"Are you assuming that…how should I say it appropriately enough for a lady…that there is some sort of romantic relationship between me and Flower?"

My face blushed again and I quickly bowed my head in order to hide it behind my long hair.

He chuckled again and I had to suppress the urge to tell him that it was not acceptable for a gentleman to laugh about a lady's bashfulness.

"Not if she and I were the last two people left on this earth. I love her with all my heart but certainly not in a way that I would make me commit a grave sin with her."

"Grave sin, you mean because the two or you aren't married or something like that?"

He shook his head and pulled a pocket watch out of his vest. When he flipped it open a wrinkled black and white picture fell down on the piano keys. The picture should a little boy with terribly messy hair who had his arm wrapped around a tiny girl in a ruffle covered silk dress. Her skin was almost as light as his and only the dark curls of her hair and the almost black eyes made it obvious that she wasn't completely white.

"Is that you and Flower? I don't think I understand."

He stuffed the picture back into the watch and closed it again. Then he sighed deeply before he spoke up.

"Promise me not to mention it to my parents that I've told you. It would upset my mother if she knew you knew. My father probably wouldn't mind it although he never really understood it why Flower and I are so close. He never got it, not even when we were still kids. That's weird somehow because I'm sure he cares for her too. He must, for he wouldn't have signed her over to me to make sure that my mother couldn't sell her behind his back like she did it with Flower's mother Malvina a few years ago. Maybe he wanted to at least keep Flower close. After all, she is his flesh and blood as much as she was hers."

XXXX

I sighed deeply while Pixie carefully combed through the length of my hair before she braided it for the night. Slowly she leaned forward to plant a kiss on the now exposed skin of my neck and the soft touch of her lips against my overheated flesh felt amazingly pleasant. The tip of her tongue darted out to lick off a tiny sweat pearl and a shiver went down my spine.

"You taste salty," she murmured when she pulled back. "Salty is good,"

I turned around and cupped her face between my hands to pull her closer to me. I kissed her tenderly while she wrapped her dainty arms around my waist. I could feel them though the fabric of my night gown and my heartbeat quickened almost painfully.

"I love kissing you so very much," I whispered against her trembling lips when we lay down on the cool blankets on the bed.

"It makes me feel all…I don't really know how it makes me feel like. I don't think I have words for it."

She smiled and caressed the bare skin above my cleavage with her fingertips.

"Your skin is so soft,"

I reached out my hand and opened the first two buttons of her cotton blouse, somehow feeling the unbearable urge to touch her as well.

Pixie kissed me again and the tip of her tongue swirled over my lower lip until I gasped for air and she used the opportunity to slip it into my mouth to massage my tongue with it. I heard her moan against my lips when my fingers inside her blouse reached the small roundness of her left breasts. When I circled the tip of my finger over its tip it hardened a bit under my touch. Was it normal that it would react like that?

"I'm not hurting you, am I?" I asked her worriedly, pulling back from the kiss. Instead of answering me she planted several open mouthed kisses down my collarbone.

"No, you didn't, my Miss. It felt so…good when you touched me there. Is it wrong that I enjoyed it?"

I shook my head and caressed her face with my fingertips, moving them gently over her eyebrows and her cheekbones until I finally reached her full lips.

"You are so incredibly beautiful." I whispered, stroking down her chin so lightly that my fingers were barely touching her skin.

Somehow she seemed to be embarrassed by my comment because suddenly she turned her head to the side and buried it against one of the fluffy pillows.

To my immense horror a low sobbing filled the air a few moments later. Seeing her so miserable cut into my heart, like a sharp knife and I hugged her tightly from behind in order to comfort her somehow.

"What's wrong with you? Are you upset about something?"

She sniffed and wiped her face on the fabric of her sleeve before she spoke up.

"You…you told me I'm beautiful and I know I'm not. I'm ugly!"

I shook my head and pulled her closer against me, planting a kiss right underneath her earlobe.

"You're not ugly. Why in heaven's name are you thinking you are?"

She turned her head and I put one finger underneath her chin to make her look up to me again. There were still tears glittering in her brown eyes but at least they had stopped falling down her face.

"Before they brought me here, my mistress told me that. You are ugly and worthless. No one will ever pay an acceptable prize for you, Pixie. You are too small and too thin to sell you off rentable."

I kissed the tip of her nose and sighed deeply.

"I won't let anyone say something as awful as that to you ever again. You belong to me now and to me…," I whispered hoarsely. "…to me you are beautiful."

**XOXXOXXOXXO**

[A/N] Lots of confessions in this chapter… Now did anyone of you assume that Flower was Edward's half-sister or did I manage to surprise you with that?

I have a certain feeling that we might get a lemon in the next chapter. How do you feel about that?

I've started another Bellice story that you could check out if you're enjoying to read my work.

It's called **Underneath Heavenly Wings**.

Until next time,

Take care ;-)


	11. Chapter 11

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] I think that was the most difficult lemon I ever wrote. Hope, it doesn't suck too much. There is zero plot in this chapter, just love-making. The girls deserve some happy times, don't you think?

****Chapter 11****

_Love is a cunning weaver of fantasies and fables_

_(Sappho)_

I wanted to keep her close to me, as close as my own skin and when she agreed to sleeping on a mattress next to my bed, it still didn't feel close enough to me. I tossed and turned around between the cotton sheets, unable to sleep while I heard her calm breathing next to me. Finally I reached my hand out for her. Gently I caressed her face with my fingertips. She sighed and sat up straight, taking my hand in hers blowing a tender kiss on each of my knuckles.

"You are still awake. Why aren't you sleeping?"

"I can't. There is too much running through my head right now that makes it hard to relax."

She stood up from the mattress and sat down on the edge of my bed. Slowly, almost hesitantly she leaned forward to cup my face between her hands. Her kiss was gentle and feather light but still it sent a sudden wave of warmth though my body. I lifted the blankets off of me and pulled her closer until she was finally on top of me, her ankles rubbing against mine while I nudged my tongue against her bottom lip, waiting for her to allow me access to the sweetness that was her mouth. Finally she parted her lips about an inch and I couldn't hold back a moan in my throat when the tip of her tongue swirled against mine, sending pleasant shivers over shiver down my spine.

"You are always in my head," she murmured against the overheated skin on my neck, while she let her tongue move up and down on a sensitive spot in the hollow of my throat.

"I can't stop thinking about kissing you, about tasting your salty skin. Am I going crazy?"

Instead of answering her question I circled my fingertips up her bare forearms and her skin broke out in goose bumps despite the warmth in the room.

Maybe we were both going crazy. It was so hard to believe that what I felt whenever I looked at her, whenever we kissed was something normal. I was sure it wasn't normal to feel that kind of closeness to another person. She was like the sister I never had and yet I was sure that what I felt for her was not the love of siblings.

"When you touch me you make me feel all tingly down here." I whispered nervously, placing her hand on my flat abdomen. When her fingers moved higher I instantly held my breath until they finally brushed against the underside of my breasts.

"When I help to dress you in the morning I always want to touch you here." she whispered into my ear while she gently cupped one of the mounds in her hand to massage it gently.

My face burst out into flames and for a moment I wanted to tell her to stop touching me like that. It was so wicked and inappropriate to let this happen and yet her caress made me ache for more. The pleasant, tingly feeling in my stomach increased and I felt my heartbeat quicken almost painfully.

We had already overstepped any rules of modesty that day out in the meadow when we had kissed the very first time. When she circled her thumb over my breast its tip hardened under her touch and I couldn't hold back a low moan from escaping my lips.

I wanted to touch her too, to feel her body react to my caress in the same way like mine did to hers. Somehow, in a nameless way, we were two sides of the same magic.

She kissed me again and I fumbled with the ribbons that held the upper part of her night gown together, desperately needing to feel her warm skin against my fingertips.

"I want to touch you too. Will you let me touch you too?" I whispered hoarsely against the crock of her neck. She took my trembling hand and whimpered slightly when my fingertips found the already pebbled peak of her small breasts. I rolled my fingers over it, feeling it harden even more before I rolled it gently between my thumb and my forefinger.

"Am I hurting you?" I asked her worriedly when I realized that her entire body was trembling slightly.

"No, you're not. I want this…I want more…more of you touching me, more of me touching you." she moaned against my lips, planting another kiss on my mouth. Her tongue swirled against mine and I pulled her closer to me, closer but not nearly as close as I wanted her, as I needed her to be.

It was too warm in the bed and small trails of sweat were already running down between my breasts. Without thinking about what I was doing I pulled my cotton night gown over my head.

"So beautiful," she whispered, planting several open mouthed kisses down my collarbone. The tip of her tongue moved gently over my breasts, licking my skin that seemed to burst out into invisible flames of liquid fire under her caress. There was a strange, pulsating feeling between my legs and when her mouth closed around one of the hardened nubs it increased to an almost unbearable burning. I pressed my thighs together and rubbed myself against her side, desperately seeking some friction.

Was I going to lose control about my body? It seemed to develop a will of its own and I felt unable to resist its needs. Pixie's nightgown landed on a pile of pillows and blankets on the ground next to the bed. When, I eventually felt her naked skin against mine another wave of heat spread through me.

Our mouths found each other again in the darkness and in a wondrously, magically way they melted into one. She moaned against my lips when I massaged the soft roundness of her breasts. It was so wonderful to touch her like this. Sinful, yes, but to me it felt like the best sin heaven could ever think of.

"I want to stay at your side forever. Promise me that you'll never send me away, my Miss. Will you?"

I kissed the tip of her nose and circled my fingertips down her jaw until I reached her lips.

"I promise. No one will ever separate us. You and I…," I moved my palm down her flat stomach until I felt soft curly hair underneath my fingertips.

"You and I, we belong together."

She nodded her head and a heartbeat later I felt her dainty hand sliding over my hipbone, circling the tip of her forefinger over my bellybutton before her hand moved lower. For a split second fear spread through me as I remembered how much it had hurt me when Royce had touched me there. However when her fingers gently touched between my legs I felt no pain at all.

Automatically I bucked my hips against her hand because it felt amazing to be caressed by her gentle fingers so intimately. My own fingers played with the curls above her womanly folds and when I moved them lower to touch her like she was touching me, I felt a slick, warm wetness coating my fingertips.

Hesitantly I circled two of them up and down between her folds and when my thumb brushed against a place right above her entrance she whimpered against the crock of my neck.

"Yes, right there…oh, yes."

I continued stroking her gently while my tongue grazed the shell of her ear. My other hand massaged her left breast and more of the strange wetness poured over my fingers between her legs.

She was shivering in my arms and when I carefully dipped the tip of one finger about an inch inside of her, the heat that awaited me there made me gasp for air.

"Is this okay?" I whispered, asking her permission before I slowly moved my finger deeper into the tight, velvety warmth, never stopping to circle my thumb over the place above her entrance as this seemed to bring her the greatest pleasure.

"I'm yours…all yours…oh god…Miss…please don't stop…oh sweet heaven…,"

Her entire body went ridged in my arms and then I felt the slick walls around my finger tighten around them for a moment before they seemed to relax again, just to convulse again the next heartbeat.

A dry sob left her throat and I wondered if I had now accidentally hurt her with what I had done. But then she cuddled against my side and planted kisses all over my face.

"That was like heaven…Oh my sweet, sweet Miss. I never thought that it was possible to feel that much without busting into millions of tiny pieces. You…," she mumbled, sucking the skin at the hollow of my throat between her teeth.

"I want to kiss you…all of you."

She planted a trail of wet kisses down my ribcage, swirling and nibbling the sensitive tips of my breasts before suckling them like a hungry infant. Her breathe tickled the overheated skin underneath my bellybutton and before I had time to realize what she was about to do her mouth was already there…_there_.

Oh sweet Angels in heaven forgive me, I thought while her tongue circled up and down my folds, tasting and exploring me. For letting her do that to me we were definitely both going to hell. I wanted to tell her to stop but I couldn't find the strength inside of me to do it. The touch of her soft lips against my womanly fold felt way too good. My legs started quivering and there was an almost unbearable pressure building up inside of me. All I knew was that in that moment I was completely hers. She could do to me whatever she wanted to do, I was hers willingly. The tip of her tongue swirled gently over the spot above my entrance where she had caressed me with her hand before. If her fingers had been tender, her tongue was even more. My own heartbeat drummed in my ears, every single cell in my body seemed to prickle with an unknown anticipation and then my entire body went ridged while waves of heat and cold at the same time spread through it. I shivered, I whimpered and when she carefully shoved one of her dainty fingers inside of me I felt my insides clenching almost forcefully around it.

Slowly she kissed her way up again, nuzzling her face against my neck. I wrapped my arms around her and held her close to me, unable to form any reasonable words now. And maybe right now words weren't necessary; maybe there weren't even words to talk about what we had done. All that mattered was that she was with me now, that I was with her. We were together now and in a way that I had no name for my heart was irrevocably hers.


	12. Chapter 12

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Thanks and hugs to all of you who keep reading & reviewing. I'm so thrilled that some of you are actually interested in what I write. It really means a lot to me.

****Chapter 12****

_Knowledge is power_

_(Sir Francis Bacon)_

We didn't speak much when we woke up in the morning but each time our eyes met I felt the heat streaming into my cheeks. I couldn't regret what had happened between us. It had felt too good, too natural, and too right to regret it.

"My Miss," she whispered nervously when she closed the buttons of my dress on my back, gently brushing the skin between my shoulder blades with her fingertips.

When she leaned forward to plant a soft kiss right underneath my hairline a pleasant shiver of lust went through my entire body.

"I wished we would never have to leave this room ever again. When we are here it's like there are only the two of us."

I cupped her face between my hands and kissed her soft lips, tasting and exploring the inside of her sweet mouth when she gasped for air. The tip of her tongue nudged against mine and the memory of the heavenly things she had done with that tongue between my legs last night made me feel all tingly from head to toe.

"Go down to the kitchen to get some breakfast for us and tell them I'm too sickish to leave my room."

She nodded her head and planted another tender kiss on my lips before she rushed out of the room, leaving me on my own for a few minutes.

I splashed some water on my overheated face while the thought of spending the entire day inside with her by my side send waves of excitement through me. I wanted to kiss her, to hold her, to caress her warm, silky skin with my hands. Oh god, all the things I wanted to do with her.

Pixie was back in no time, placing a tray filled with fruits, toast and tea on the table in the corner of the room.

"Flower asked if you wanted to have Mr. Edward take a look at you, but I told her that wouldn't be necessary. You just need some rest that's all."

I realized that she was pretty good at lying, way better than I could ever be, probably because it hadn't really been necessary in my previous life. But here I was, craving for the touch of another woman, a slave girl on top of it. If anyone would ever find out…

"Are you hungry, my Miss?" she asked me, sitting down next to me on the edge of the bed. I nodded my head and she grabbed the bowl with the fruits, feeding me pieces of apricot. It was sweet and delicious. I took one of them in my hands and waved with it in front of her mouth.

"Try,"

She opened her lips and when the tip of her tongue touched my fingertips I felt my knees starting to tremble, making it difficult to remain sitting up.

"Delicious, but not half as delicious as you tasted on my tongue last night,"

My face burst out into flames but although I knew that it was a sin to enjoy her talking about that it filled me with pride at the same time that she enjoyed doing that to me. I couldn't help but wonder how she would taste like herself.

"Come here and kiss me."

She wrapped her arms around my waist and nudged her lips against mine, while my hands circled over her neck. Kissing her was like heaven, like coming home, like the first drop of water when you were thirsty. I wanted to die with her lips against mine.

"I want to touch you again…like we touched last night. Do you want that too?" I whispered against her neck.

Instead of answering me she took my hand in hers and guided it to the buttons of her blouse. I opened them with trembling fingers, admiring every inch of her beautiful dark skin I was exposing to my eyes.

"You are gorgeous. Of all the miracles in the world you are probably the greatest of them all."

Her blouse landed on the ground next to the bed, soon followed by the rest of our clothes. When we were both naked I pulled a blanket over us and rolled us over so that she was on top of me. Her thighs brushed against mine and I felt a bit of the strange, warm wetness on my skin when she lifted her hips to rub herself against me.

I planted kisses down her collarbone until my mouth finally closed around one of the tips of her breasts. It pebbled against the tip of my tongue when I licked and suckled it, making her whimper slightly in my arms.

Pixie cupped my breasts in her hands, massaging them gently while she rolled her thumbs over their middle until their peaks were hard under her fingertips.

Then she leaned forward sucking one of them into the warmth of her mouth and I almost lost it. The feeling that spread through me when she did that was beyond words. She was so tender and almost automatically I bucked my hips against hers, somehow needing more friction to ease the beginning throbbing between my legs.

"I want to feel you…all of you." I whispered into her ear, swirling my tongue over the sensitive spot right underneath her earlobe.

She turned me over so that I lay half on my side and lifted my leg up to sit down between my parted thighs. The soft curls that covered her womanly folds were already damp with warm, slickness. When she started moving her hips back and forth, pressing her folds against my own overheated flesh I had to bite my own hand to suppress a moan. After a few moments I started moving with her, our bodies somehow desperate to rub against each other as close as possible. My legs started trembling and when she reached down her hand to stroke me above my entrance the pulsating between my legs increased to a point where it was almost painful. We moved back and forth faster and faster until her body went ridged in my arms. For a moment it seemed as if she had stopped breathing but then she moaned my name. My real name, not my Miss. It was the first time she had called me Isabella to my face and although I wasn't sure if she was aware of what she had done right now it still brought tears to my eyes. I cared so much for her, too much actually but still it was as if I needed more of her with every breath I took. Her warm mouth suckled my breast again and that feeling together with her hand rubbing between my legs sent me over the edge into a nameless bliss.

When I finally managed to catch my breath again I turned us around, wrapping my arms around her from behind to hold her trembling body close to me.

"That was wonderful."

"Yes, my Miss."

"I wish for you to call me Isabella when we are alone. Will you do that?"

She nodded her head and turned it around so that she could plant several feather light kisses all over my face.

XXXX

It was the middle of the day when I woke up in her arms. She was still asleep and so I stood up from the bed and pulled my nightgown over my head as quietly as possible. Then I took the book I had been reading in the last days from the dresser and sat down next to her again, caressing her bare forearm with my fingertips before I pulled the blanket over her again in order to keep her from getting cold.

A few moments later she started tossing and turning around until she finally blinked at me.

"Why didn't you wake me up?" she asked me, rubbing her tired eyes before she sat up.

"You needed to rest. I don't think you actually get enough of it."

"I'm used to that." she stated, cuddling against my side to tenderly put a wisp of my hair behind my ear.

"Is that the book about the two antagonized families?"

"No, that's not Romeo and Juliet."

"Is it the one about god? Mrs. Esme always reads that one a lot."

"No it's not the Bible. It's just some book with poems."

"Can you read me one of them? I think I've never actually heard a poem whatever that is."

I sighed and flipped through the pages, looking for something she might enjoy.

"Can you read all the words that are written in the book? There are so many of them and they all look alike to me."

"No they're not. Each single letter is difficult."

I stood up from the bed and grabbed a pen and a sheet of paper from the top dresser.

As slowly as I could I wrote down her name on it, letting her watch me doing it.

"See, that's your name."

"Really?" she sounded excited now and that made me happy. I kissed her hair and cuddled against her side, nodding my head while her fingertips carefully moved over the ink.

"I want to know how to do that too. Will you show me, Isabella?"

I hesitated for a moment. My father had made it pretty clear to me that it was strictly forbidden to teach a slave how to write and read. Why it was forbidden he hadn't explained to me. No one ever thought it necessary to explain anything to me. It was the same with mother not telling me one single word about the awful things my husband had done to me in our wedding bed.

"Please, just my own name. No one has to know."

I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and took her hand in mine. Then I placed the pen between her fingers, showing her how to hold it between them.

My fingers moved with hers and when she had finally managed to draw the last letter a proud smile flashed over her face. I pulled her closer and kissed her cheek.

"You did well. Do you think you can remember how to do it?"

She nodded her head and leaned over to plant a kiss on my mouth. I parted my lips a bit so that she could nudge her tongue against the tip of mine. The tip of her forefinger moved gently over my collarbone and it took me a moment to realize that she was trying to draw invisible letters on my skin.

"Isabella?"

"Yes, Pixie?"

"When Mr. Royce comes back from his journey we can't be together like this anymore. He's going to stay here with you at night."

I cringed and couldn't help the instant feeling of fear that spread through me from making me tremble all over my body.

"Are you fearful of him?" she asked me worriedly, wrapping her arms around me to pull me against her bare chest.

"No," I whispered, suddenly feeling terribly ashamed of myself. It was my duty to be a good wife to my husband and provide him with the heir he expected. If only it wouldn't be so painful and frightening to share my bed with him.

"Your body says something different than your mouth," she told me, stroking up and down my forearm with her dainty fingertips.

"He hurt you when you were with him and I hate him so much for that."

"Maybe he'll leave me alone when I become with child. I really hope he does."

"I still hate him. Mr. Royce is the devil and I don't want him near you."

I sighed and took several deep breaths to inhale the scent of her skin. Somehow it gave me a feeling of security.

"He's my husband. That means he can have me whenever he wants to have me. Nobody can do anything against that."

She nodded her head and murmured something into my hair that was too low for me to understand it.

With trembling fingers I took her hand in mine and placed it right above my heart, letting her feel how it pulsated against her fingertips.

"Here I'm all yours,"

"All mine,"

"All yours,"

And while our mouth connected again to another gentle kiss, I knew it, knew it with every single beat of my heart, that I loved her.


	13. Chapter 13

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

****Chapter 13****

_Never strike your wife – even with a flower_

_(Hindu Proverb)_

I was sitting in a rocking chair in the corner of my room reading a book while Pixie was kneeling next to me, drawing invisible letters over my bare forearm with her fingertips. She was so incredibly greedy for knowledge and it touched me so much that I had showed her how to write more words after she had brought the tray with my almost untouched breakfast back to the kitchen. Today was the day Royce would return from his journey and that would limit my time with Pixie dramatically.

The door was pulled open abruptly and my husband rushed into the room. His eyes narrowed into tiny angry slits before he grabbed Pixie roughly on her arm and pulled her off of the ground.

"Get out of my eyes, you stupid nigger. I need to talk to my wife."

"Sorry, Mr. Royce but I…I…,"

"Are you deaf or something like that! Get out of this room this moment before I call for Trucker to come here and whip some sense into that head of yours."

She gave me a worried look. It was obvious that she didn't want me to be alone with him although both of us knew it was inevitable. So I took a deep breath and tried to make my voice sound as hard possible when I spoke up.

"Go and do as Mr. Royce told you to. I'll send for you when I need your assistance again."

Her lips twitched for a moment but then she rushed out of the room as fast as possible.

"The girl you have chosen as your maid seems to be a bit retarded." He stated, closing the distance between us with a few steps. Instantly I shrugged back, until my arms were touching the cold wall behind us.

"Did you miss me, Mrs. King?"

I nodded my head and forced my lips into a grimace that would hopefully look similar to a smile to him. It seemed to work because he leaned forward to cup my face between his hands. When his tongue slipped forcefully into my mouth I could taste the bitter tartness of the bourbon on it. He had been drinking again and I prayed that the whole thing would soon be over, the sooner the better.

He shoved me over to the bed and lifted the hem of my dress up over my hips while he fumbled with the buttons on his trousers. I felt the tears starting to burn in the corner of my eyes but I didn't want him to see how frightened I was so I turned my head to the side and pressed my lips against each other while he hovered above me. The pain was row, like salt on a fresh wound and when he finally, finally stilled after a few minutes that seemed like forever to me, a low whimper left my throat.

He gasped for air and rolled off of me, reaching out his hand to circle his thumb over my tear-covered face.

"I think I've already told you that I hate it when women cry. It's pointless and annoying. So stop it right now."

I sniffed and wiped my face on a pillow before I pulled my petticoats and my skirt down, trying to stand up from the bed with trembling knees. It was still hurting so much and somehow I felt incredibly dirty that he had been all over me. I didn't want him to touch me at all.

"Isabella?"

"Yes, Royce?" I whispered, sitting down on the edge of the bed again.

"Do you have anything that you would like to tell me?"

"No, Royce. Are you…done with me now?"

His fist landed against my left temple before I could even blink. I stumbled over and landed on the ground next to the bed. A sharp pain rushed through my wrist when I tried to sit up again. My head was throbbing and when I cradled my hurting hand against my chest, he growled angrily.

"Never ever dare to speak to me in such a respect less voice, Isabella. I'm your husband although I really liked to change this fact if I could. You are completely useless as a wife. I've found out the truth about your family. The Swans are poorer than white trash and all this talk about his uncle's plantation was nothing but a big lie from your drunkard of a father!"

He grabbed me by my shoulder and started shaking me back and forth as if I was a lifeless doll or something like that. Someone screamed and it took me a moment to realize that the sound was actually coming out of my own mouth. Then everything around me vanished into numb darkness.

XXXX

There was something cold and wet on my face and when I managed to open my eyes again I blinked into Pixie's worried face. Flower was standing next to her and handed her another wet cloth to press it gently against my throbbing head.

"Miss Isabella, are you awake? Oh thanks god, can you tell us what happened?"

I shook my head while several dry sobs left my sore throat. Everything was hurting so much, my head, my wrist, all of me.

"Her hand is starting to swell. I don't know what we should do about that, Flower. Maybe it's broken."

Flower sighed and rushed out of the room. Probably in order to get some ice for my hand or something like that.

When she was gone Pixie wrapped her arms around me and pulled me close against her chest.

"He almost killed you. God, I hate him so much, so much. There are no words that are evil enough for him. He…,"

She stopped midsentence when the door was pulled open again and Flower appeared with Edward behind her. He kneeled down next to me on the ground and took my hand to examine it carefully. His touch was gentle and feather light but it still hurt when he stretched my fingers to see if anything was broken.

"How did that happen?" he asked me calmly, while his fingertips moved over my palm.

"I fell," I whispered so low that my voice was hardly audible.

He sighed and cleared his throat before he turned to Flower and Pixie again. "Go down to the kitchen and get me some ice, lots of ice and a bottle of brandy. Oh and Flower, you can bring me my bag from my room. I need some gauze and other stuff to fix her hand."

Flower grabbed Pixie by her arm and pulled her out of the room when she seemed to be unable to move.

"You aren't a very good liar, Isabella." Edward murmured, leaning forward to take a look at my temple.

"I fell," repeated while I took several deep breaths in an attempt to keep the tears from falling.

"Against a fist? Please, Isabella, you don't have to lie to me in order to protect your husband."

I sniffed and my entire body started trembling all over again.

"I'm really sorry about that. A man should never raise his hand against his own wife. It's a sin."

"He was angry."

"About what?"

I hesitated but somehow I felt the incredible urge to talk to someone, anyone about it.

"He found out that my family isn't as rich as he though them to be and wasn't exactly pleased to hear about that."

"It still doesn't give him a right to take his temper out on you. He could have injured you severely. I don't think your hand is broken, just very badly strained."

"But it hurts so much,"

"I can assume it does. If you want me to I could give you some laudanum for the pain."

I nodded my head and sighed deeply.

Pixie returned with the ice and the brandy and handed both of it to him with quivering hands. He dipped a bit of the alcohol on a clean piece of cloth and started cleaning the wound on my head carefully. I cringed and Pixie kneeled down next to me, taking my unharmed hand in hers to squeeze it gently.

"Is she going to be okay, Mr. Edward?"

"I think so. You really seem to be worried about your Mistress. Tell me is that the first time my cousin has done something like that?"

XXXX

Flower placed the tray with my food next to me on the bed wile Pixie continued pressing cloths with ice in them against my throbbing head and my wrist.

"I brought some soup for you. Edw…I mean Mr. Edward says you should try to eat at least a tiny bit of it."

She lifted the lid up from the terrine but as soon as she did it she dropped it down again. Quickly she turned over to the porcelain washbowl on the dresser, emptying her stomach into it in several heaves. When she was done she wiped her mouth on the sleeve of her blouse and sighed deeply.

"I'm so sorry about that, Miss Isabella."

"Are you sick?"

"No, I'm not, Miss Isabella. Please promise me not to tell anything about it. I don't want anyone to know that…well, I just don't want anyone to know."

I nodded my head, not really sure what she was talking about. Why didn't she want anyone to know if she was sick? That didn't make any sense to me.

"Pixie, can you, do me a favor and get me bath? I really feel like I need one right now. Could you do that for me?"

She nodded her head and stood up from the edge of the bed. When she rushed out of the room I stared after her like a lost puppy.

"Be careful," Flower whispered, lifted the lid up from the steaming soup again.

She dipped a spoon into it and made me slurp it down my throat. It was too hot and too salty but I managed to swallow at least a few more spoons full of it before I turned my head to the side.

"Miss Isabella, you don't know what you are getting yourself into."

"I know and Royce is such a…I mean…,"

"I'm not talking about Mr. Royce."

"Then I don't think I understand what you are talking about."

"Pixie, of course, I see the way she's looking at you. I should probably warn you. She's a nice girl but she has…sweet blood."

"What in heaven's name is that supposed to mean?"

"Well, she's…unnatural somehow, I mean she doesn't even try to flirt with any of the male slaves although I have a certain feeling that the crazy gardener has a soft spot for her."

"I don't want wish for you to talk about her like that. Are we clear about that, Flower?"

"Yes, Miss Isabella, I was just trying to warn you because…,"

"It's not necessary to warn me. And now no more of this talking, I don't want to hear it."

She swallowed hard and sighed deeply. Then she cleared her throat nervously before she spoke up again.

"Just a last word about Mr. Royce; I know what kind of person he is. God, I know him so well. It was so stupid of me to believe his stupid lies when he told me he loved me. I mean, why would he even care? He's just trying to hurt my br...I mean, he's just trying to hurt Edward by hurting me. Love makes people so vulnerable."

She folded her hands over her abdomen and I wondered if she was going to be sick again.

"Isn't it weird, how you are a prisoner in this house as much as me? Being Royce wife must be even worse than being his whore."


	14. Chapter 14

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

****Chapter 14****

_If I love you, what business is it of yours?_

_(Johann Wolfgang von Goethe)_

"Are you feeling a bit better today?" Edward asked me worriedly when he examined the bruise on my head again.

"I'm fine, thank you. Is he…I mean is my husband still here?"

He sighed and cleared his throat nervously.

"My sorry excuse of a cousin is still sleeping because he obviously had a bit too much bourbon last night. When he's sober again, I'll talk to him about the way he behaved to you yesterday."

"Oh please, don't do that. It'll make everything worse."

"Isabella, you can't expect me to just watch him do such a thing to his wife and keep silent about it. I can see how much you are afraid of him. Your hands are trembling whenever you mention him. A wife should never be afraid of her own husband."

I tasted tears on my tongue and quickly tried to wipe them away with the sleeve of my dress.

"I'm grateful for your offer to help me, but there isn't anything you could do for me. Royce is my husband and he'll remain it in front of god and the world."

"I know."

"Can I ask you something, Edward? Why are you attending medical school when your father owns a plantation like Twilight?"

"Two reasons. Firstly, it might sound weird to you but I never really had an interest in running a plantation. My father knows of this and it doesn't exactly please him. Twilight is my home, it always will be but the embarrassing truth is that I have too many moral issues to keep other human beings in slavery to be a good plantation owner. And secondly…I want to be a doctor because if we would have had one when my wife…well, if we would have had one here when she got sick, she probably would still be alive now."

"Was she ill for a long time before she…deceased?"

"Angela died in childbirth and I would prefer not to speak about my late wife too much. Her death was entirely my fault. If she hadn't been carrying my child, she would still be here. My love is what killed her and her blood…,"

The door was pulled open abruptly and a breathless Pixie appeared in its frame.

"Have you forgotten to bring your Mistress's breakfast? I think I told you to get her something to eat before I examined her."

"Ye…es…Mr. Edward, I know."

"Then why haven't you brought anything with you then? Did you burn it or something?"

"No, Mr. Edward, I didn't. Please, Mr. Edward you have to come with me into the kitchen. Nettie says I should keep my mouth shut but I'm really worried about Flower. There is so much blood. She's possibly going bled to death if we don't do anything."

XXXX

The fabric of her skirt was coved in dark crimson colored blood and when Edward kneeled down next to Flower on the ground I realized that her lips were almost blue now. Was she going to die? She hadn't been sick before had she?

"What are you doing here Edward? You shouldn't be here." She whispered hoarsely.

"Keep your mouth shut, Flower, and let me look at you."

"No! I don't want you to. Leave me alone. Ouch! Oh dear, god why is this hurting so much. Nettie didn't tell me a word about how much this was going to hurt."

Edward stood up from the ground and slapped Nettie who was stirring some stew on the stove right across her face.

"What did you do to her? I swear to god, if she keeps any damages, I'll make sure there won't be any piece of unharmed skin on your back."

"I didn't do anything, Mr. Edward."

He slapped her again and this time she instantly started crying.

"Stop lying to me, you old witch! What the hell did you do to her? Tell me before I call for the slave master to check if he can improve your memory by using the whip on you!"

"No! Don't do that. Please don't do that, Mr. Edward. She asked for it. She begged me to give her something that would bring everything in order again. It was just some herbs. I swear I didn't know she was going to bleed so much from them. Maybe she drank too much of the tea I told her to make out of it. I swear, I didn't…,"

"Get out of my eyes now!"

Nettie whimpered but rushed out of the room as soon as she could.

Pixie rinsed another cloth with blood in a bucket with clean water before she pressed it between Flower's thighs again. I kneeled down next to Flowers head and wiped some sweat from her forehead.

Edward wrapped his hand around her wrist and counted something between his teeth before he finally released it. He lifted her up as if she were a doll and carried her to a small room next to the kitchen where he placed her gently on a bed.

Then he turned to Pixie again.

"Fetch me some hot water and more cloths – clean ones. Oh and not a word about this to anyone. Are we clear about this?"

Pixie nodded her head and rushed back into the kitchen while I stood frozen right where I was, taking Flower's hand in mine that felt cold like ice.

"What is happening to her? I don't think I understand."

Edward sighed deeply and sat down next to Flower on the edge of the bed, ignoring my presence completely.

"Why didn't you tell me about this? I would have helped you. I could have helped you."

"I didn't want you to know. I don't want anyone to know. Edward, am I really going to die? It hurts so much, so much."

"I won't let you die on me. I forbid you to die."

He pulled a brownish tincture out of his bag and let a few drops of it fall down on Flower's quivering lips.

"This will at least lessen the pain a bit. Why in heaven's name did you turn to this old witch for help instead of me? I'm your brother. You should trust me."

"But you're a man. This…this is womanly thing."

"You still should have told me. I would have made sure the child would be looked well after."

Child? She had been carrying a child?

"There was no need to do something so dangerous and risky to yourself." He continued, while he pulled a blanket over her trembling body.

"Oh yes there was. When I'm going to die I'm finally going to see my poor mother again."

"Flower, stop talking such nonsense, or I'll slap you."

"But it hurts so much…so much."

"I know little sister. And it's going to hurt a lot more until it is over. Are you going to tell me, who the father was? Is it that big guy…the blacksmith…Bear or whatever is his name? You spent so much time with him in the last time."

"No, he's not. I just went to him because I thought he could help me. But he refused to do it. He said he couldn't use the same violence to a woman like he used on a horse when it's in the same…condition."

"Flower for all that is holy. Why would you consider such a thing?"

"Because I would rather die than carry Royce's bastard child."

"Royce? Didn't I tell you not to go near him? Didn't I warn you over and over again?"

My mouth opened and closed several times before the words actually left my lips.

"It wasn't her fault. He…he forced himself on her."

Edward stood up from the bed and grabbed me by my shoulder with so much force that it was almost painful.

"How do you know about this?" he growled angrily.

"Let me go, you're scaring me. I…well; I kind of caught them together. She cried but he didn't let go of her."

XXXX

"Isabella?" Pixie asked me when she helped me to remove my corset, letting her fingertips move gently up and down my spine in small circles.

"Yes, Pixie?"

"You have to promise me not to do what Flower did if you become with Mr. Royce child. I couldn't endure it to see you suffer like she did. If you become with his child I'll be there for you. I'll always be there for you. I love you more than anything on earth."

She pulled my nightgown over my head and guided me over to the bed, lifting the blankets over me before she sat down on its edge.

I took her hand in mine to squeeze it gently. Slowly I lifted it to my lips and planted a kiss on each of her knuckles.

"You love me?"

"So very much, Isabella,"

I leaned forward and planted a soft kiss on her warm lips, letting my tongue slip into the wet sweetness of her mouth when she gasped for air. She loved me; she loved me like I loved her. Pixie felt the same way about me as I felt for her. I didn't want to lose her…ever. My heartbeat increased so much that it made me feel dizzy.

"I love you. I know it's wrong and inappropriate to feel this way but I can't help it. I love you so much that it hurts." I whispered against her lips when I finally managed to pull back from the kiss.

She caressed the skin on my collarbone with her fingertips and for a moment I cringed because I remembered how Royce had forced himself on me. I still was sore from what he had done to me and it made me feel terribly ashamed.

"Please…," I started hesitantly, not really knowing what to tell her right now. I hated my husband because he could use my body whenever and however it pleased him. I wanted Pixie's gentle hands to be the only ones to touch it. Her touch had never hurt me, yet it had had brought me pleasure that I didn't even have a name for.

"We don't have to do anything tonight. You are still in pain because of what this devil who calls himself your husband did to you."

"I'm not really in pain…just sore somehow."

She stood up from the bed and rinsed a cloth in the washbowl on the dresser before she returned. When she lifted my nightgown over my hips I tried to protest halfheartedly.

"No,"

"Shhh, Isabella. I'm not going to hurt you. This is going to help lessen your soreness a bit. Trust me, I would never hurt you."

I relaxed a bit and realized that the cold cloth in deed helped with the soreness.

Pixie hugged me tightly from behind, nuzzling her face against my shoulder.

"I wished I could protect you from him. I hate that he's allowed to hurt you so much."


	15. Chapter 15

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Welcome back my lovely readers. I'm thankful for all of you who keep reading and reviewing. Your support means so much to me.

****Chapter 15****

_Jealousy and love are sisters_

_(Russian Proverb)_

She picked a tiny flower from the grass around us and moved it gently over the small stripe of exposed skin between my hair and the lace collar of my dress. I raised my head from the book I had been reading, knowing that it would be impossible to focus on it while she was touching me.

"I'm happy that we came out here today," I whispered taking her hand in mine to draw invisible circles up her bare forearm.

"Here is where we kissed for the first time." she murmured, cupping my face between both her hands to caress my cheekbones for a moment before she pulled me close enough to be able to kiss my trembling lips. It was a short kiss, tender and sweet, as if she was somehow I afraid that I could be too afraid to kiss her again outside the safety of my bedroom. She was right. I was afraid, but more of my own emotions than of the risk of being caught by anyone.

My fingertips moved gently over her wrist, over and over again, as if I wanted to carve the words into her skin.

"I…love…you," she spelled hesitantly. "Did I get it right?"

I nodded my head and planted several soft kisses over the back of her hand.

"You are very talented. I'd never expected you to learn to write and read so fast."

Her lips curved into a bright smile before she wrapped her arms around me and flipped us over so that she was sitting on my lap. Then she leaned down and kissed me again. My tongue slipped between her parted lips as soon as she gasped for air and when the tip of her tongue touched gently against mine a shiver went down my spine.

"I love you, Isabella, so very much." she whispered into my ear, tickling my skin with her warm breathe. For a moment I forgot completely where we were but then something cracked behind us and that noise brought both of us back to reality. Pixie almost jumped from my lap and started flattening the wrinkled hem of my dress.

"Who's there?" I asked, cursing myself for the slight trembling in my voice.

"Good morning, Miss Isabella, how are you?"

The dirt-blond slave master grinned and twisted his greasy hair into a ponytail before he reached out his hand to shake mine.

"Miss Isabella?"

"I'm fine, thank you. What are doing here?"

"It's my job to make sure none of those niggers runs away from the plantation. Those blacks are sneaky and would probably use any chance of getting away." His dark eyes moved over to Pixie who looked as if she was about to faint any moment. It was obvious that she was afraid of him, like an animal that is afraid to be slaughtered. I instantly wanted to pull her in my arms again to make her feel safe.

"You shouldn't be alone outside here with no one but a slave girl by your side, Miss Isabella. Aren't you afraid that she could try to make a run? We are close to the borders of Twilight here."

"Pixie isn't going to run away. I trust her."

A low chuckle left his throat before he kneeled down and grabbed Pixie's so roughly by her shoulder that she cried out in pain.

"You managed to lull your Mistress in quite well, didn't you? Just be aware that I'll be having a special eye on you. Somehow the thought of hunting you after you ran off is almost…thrilling for me."

"Drop your filthy hands from her this very moment, Mr. Tracker. There is no need to speak to her in this tone."

He chuckled again and stood up from the blanket, wiping his hands on the fabric of his trousers.

"Miss Isabella, how amusing, I've never seen a white woman speaking up for a worthless nigger as passionately as you."

I cleared my throat nervously before I spoke up again, trying to keep my voice as hard as possible.

"Pack our things together, Pixie. I wish to go back inside the house now."

"Yes, Is…, I mean, yes, my Miss."

XXXX

"What a horrible person." I whispered to Pixie when she closed the door of my room behind her.

"Yes, I know. We should be lucky that he didn't show up a few moments earlier. Do you have any clue what they would do to me, if someone would see me kissing you like that?"

I shook my head. I didn't want to think about that sort of thing. It was too painful. Pixie was like a warm ray of sunshine when there was nothing but darkness surrounding you. I wanted to keep her close and no matter how wrong it might be I was determined to do it. Should I ask Carlisle if he would sign her over to me as my personal slave? Technically she wasn't really worth anything because she was too thin and too small to work hard, so he probably wouldn't really care whether she was his or not. To me she was everything. My answer to question I didn't even know I had until I met her.

I decided that I at least had to try to convince Royce uncle of signing Pixie's paper over to me. The thought of losing her against my will was too unbearable for me.

"Please kiss me," I whispered so low that it was barely audible. She wrapped her arms around my waist and pulled me closer. Our mouths connected and in that moment it felt as if she and I were the two only people on earth, with nothing and no one who would be able to come between us.

"I love you, Pixie…never forget that…, will you?"

She nodded her head and sat down on the edge of the bed while I walked out of the room in order to speak to Carlisle. When I had reached his office my hands were sweating and I had trouble to keep my breathing under control. I was so terribly nervous that I felt a lot like crying. There were voices coming out of his office, someone yelled and then I heard the slapping of a hand against skin.

"You will stay away from her in the future! Are the two of us clear on that? I swear to God, if I ever see you near her again, I will…I will…,"

"Carlisle, my dear, please try to calm down again. Royce didn't do anything…,"

"Don't try to defend him now! I know exactly what he did and if he weren't the son of your brother I would kick him off of this plantation before he could even blink!"

"Carlisle, there is no need to get so agitated because of the lies of some stupid nigger whore."

"Don't you dare to…!"

"Isabella, what are you doing here outside? Didn't anyone tell you that it's no appropriate behavior to eavesdrop?" Edward told me reproachfully while his lips turned into a half smile.

My face blushed into a bright crimson color and I quickly stared down on the ground in order to hide it from him.

"I'm sorry, Isabella. I didn't mean to offend you with my comment."

"Apology accepted."

He took my hand and blew a polite kiss over the back of my hand without actually touching my skin with his lips.

Then he dropped it and knocked on the door.

"Come on in,"

I followed him silently and almost instantly shrugged back when my husband's eyes found mine.

"Isabella, my dear how are you?" he asked me, making his voice sound smooth like honey. He was such a hypocrite and I hated him for that.

"Your wife is pretty fine despite of your…little outburst two nights ago. You could have injured her dangerously and then her blood would have been on your hands."

"Don't tell me how to treat my wife, cousin. It's none of your concern."

"Maybe you're right about that, but I assure you that Flower is my concern. She is my…she is my property."

"If you would like me to buy her off from you feel free to name a price."

Royce's nose made a weird cracking noise when Edward's fist connected with it. My husband cringed and whimpered while he pulled out a tissue and pressed it against the bleeding wound.

"Edward, for heaven's sake what are you doing? You can't hit your cousin because of this stupid nigger girl." Esme whispered, placing a hand on her son's quivering shoulder. In my entire life I had never seen someone as angry as Edward.

"If Royce will ever come near her again, I will kill him."

"Edward, please, you can't…,"

"It's okay, aunt Esme. I'm done with that nigger whore anyway."

A low growl left Carlisle's throat and for a moment it looked as if he was going to hit his nephew too now. It didn't happen. Instead he cleared his throat and took a big gulp from the glass with bourbon on his table before he spoke up.

"Never ever dare to speak about her like that if you wish to remain on this plantation. I would suggest that you leave for a certain time until everyone has calmed down."

"As you wish uncle, I need to go on a journey north anyway in the next days."

"Wonderful. I think we are clear then."

Royce nodded his head and rushed out of Carlisle's office while I remained were I was, unable to move one single inch.

"I hate him! Father, you should have thrown him out of this house this very moment."

"Edward, please calm down again. There is no need to get all agitated because of this…this nigger girl."

"Keep your mouth shut, wife!"

"Carlisle…,"

"I'm so done with this, Esme, so done. Your ridiculous jealousy is starting to annoy me."

"Ridiculous? Ridiculous?" Esme's voice raised two octaves, reaching a shrill frequency.

"You think I'm stupid, don't you? Have you forgotten that I sleep in the same bed like you every night? And every night when you are asleep I hear you whispering that whore's name over and over again_. My Malvina...my sweet, sweet Malvina…I'm so sorry, my sweet Malvina…"_

Edward pulled me out of the room and made me sit down on a chair at the other side of the hall. My hands were trembling so much that I didn't even manage to pull out my tissue to wipe some sweat pearls from my forehead.

"I'm so sorry," I stumbled out, feeling the tears starting to burn in the corner of my eyes.

"About what? None of what happened is your fault. You are not responsible for your husband's behavior."

"But Carlisle and you are so angry at Royce."

"Yes, we are, because we lo…well, because we care about Flower's well-being."

"Is she going to be alright again?"

He sighed deeply and twisted his hands into the damp curls of his reddish hair.

"I haven't told her yet but I'm quite sure that she won't be able to carry another child ever again."

"Oh my god, that's so horrible. I'm so sorry that all of this happened, no matter whether it's my fault or not."

His mouth twitched for a moment before he spoke up again.

"You are a very compassionate person, Isabella. In a way that kind of reminds me of my late wife."


	16. Chapter 16

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

****Chapter 16****

_Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down the house, you can never tell_

_(Anonymous)_

"How are you feeling?" I asked Flower, forcing my mouth into smile when I sat down on the edge of her bed. It was a stupid question. How she felt like was obvious. The caramel skinned beauty looked more dead than alive. Her lips were dry and her breathing came out raggedly.

"Empty and tired," she whispered.

"Do you want to sleep then? I can come back another time. I just thought you'd like to have some company apart from your br…I mean apart from Mr. Edward."

"The word is brother and it doesn't hurt to use it. Everyone in this house knows I'm the master's bastard child."

"Bastard is an ugly word."

"I know. Most things are ugly when you call them by their real name. Child of the plantation is the expression Miss Esme usually uses when she talks about my…well…how I came into this world. She's giving Edward such a hard time because he's refusing to sign my papers over to her. He knows what she would do if he did and also what I what do if that happened. I'm my mother's daughter after all."

"Why does Esme hate you so much?"

"Wouldn't you hate the offspring of your husband's escapades too?"

"No, I wouldn't."

"You are a strangely lady, Miss Isabella. That you wouldn't mind it probably proves that you don't love Royce."

I swallowed hard and grabbed the fabric on the hem of my dress so tightly that my knuckles turned white.

"I don't love him. It wasn't my decision to marry him but when my father told me about it I was determined to be a good wife to the man he chose for me. I still want that, it's the right thing to do but Royce isn't making it very easy for me."

"Royce has a very dark side. He always gets so terribly angry when things don't turn out how he expects them to go."

"He's disappointed that my family isn't rich and that I'm not expecting his precious heir yet."

"I hope my brother takes a new wife soon, so that Twilight gets the heir it needs. Edward needs to move on. He's too young to spend the rest of his life on his own."

"This Miss Jessica seemed to be pretty interested in him when she was here."

Flower frowned and sat up in the bed, reaching out her trembling hands to grab the glass of water I handed her.

Slowly she took several small sips before she leaned back against the pillows.

"Edward would rather die than to marry this repulsive cow. When she was a little girl she used to torture the horses in her father's barn with sharp sticks just for the fun of it."

I nodded my head and sighed deeply.

"Can I ask you something?"

"I'm a slave and you're asking for my permission to a question? Dear god, you are really weird, aren't you?"

I blushed a bit, and stared down at my hands, trying to choose my words carefully.

"Was Carlisle in love with your mother? I mean because Esme told him that he says her name in his sleep."

"Love is a very powerful emotion. My mother Malvina came here with Miss Esme as her personal maid when she married the master. Unfortunately it turned out that her husband developed way more interest in the slave girl than in his wife."

"That must have been difficult for her, I guess."

"It was. Now that I'm a woman I can understand her point way better than I did it when I was a child. Everything was so confusing to me back then."

"Confusing?"

"My father was always so friendly to me when he though no one was watching us. He called me his little, pretty angel while his wife kept on telling me over and over again how ugly I was. You can't image how it's like…to be black but look…almost white."

"I'm sorry."

"You are a kind person. I'm sorry that Royce is such a bad husband. You deserve better. Maybe he'll fall of his horse when he's drunk and breaks his neck."

XXXXX

Slowly I sat down in the tub with steaming hot water while Pixie kneeled down next to me on the ground and started washing my back with a soft cloth.

"Pixie?"

"Yes, Isabella? Is something wrong? Is the water too warm or anything?"

"No, it's wonderful. Thank you. Will you bathe with me? I want to feel you."

She nodded her head and pulled her cotton dress over her head. When the rest of her clothes landed on a pile next to the wooden tub I couldn't manage to keep my eyes away from her naked body. It was sinful to look at another woman like that but I couldn't help it. She was so incredibly beautiful, her small, perky breasts with the darker tips that pebbled into hard nubs when you caressed them with your hands or your mouth. Her flat stomach, her legs…god, I loved all about her body so much.

A bit of the water swapped over the tub when she sat down behind me, wrapping her arms around me to hold me as close as possible.

"Nettie said he's gone again. I hope he doesn't return too soon."

"Please don't speak of Royce now. The two of us have so little time to us. I don't want to ruin it by thinking of him."

"Yes, Isabella. You are right. This is not a time to talk…it's a time to…,"

Her fingertips moved gently over my collarbone drawing invisible letters

"F…e…e…l,"

"Yes feel. Close your eyes, beautiful." she whispered into my ear, letting the tip of her tongue graze its shell in small circles. Her finger moved lower until she could cup my breasts in her hands and started massaging them gently.

A suppressed moan left my lips when her fingertips rolled over the sensitive tips. I turned my head and whimpered against her mouth before I kissed her over and over again, sucking, nibbling, exploring our mouths until our lips were red and swollen.

We stepped out of the tub and I almost slipped over its edge.

"Careful, I don't want you hurt."

"I don't want you hurt too."

She dried both of us with a towel and leaded me over to the bed where she laid down on top of me, supporting herself with her forearms as if she was afraid to hurt me with her weight. She wasn't going to cause me any pain and so I pulled her closer, feeling the muscles in my stomach beginning to tighten when I felt the hair that covered her womanhood brushing gently against mine.

"You feel so good to me, Isabella." she moaned against my neck while she began rocking her hips back and forth, causing a heavenly pressure against my pelvis.

"I wish to bring you pleasure, my heart, so much pleasure…,"

With that she started kissing her way down my body. Wherever her warm mouth touched me my skin burst out into flames, making me entire body tingle with anticipation. The nameless, pulsating feeling between my legs was back and I ached for Pixie to touch me there. Needed her to touch me there or I would probably combust and crumble into millions of pieces.

I held my breath when she parted my thighs and caressed their insides tenderly. Then, painfully slowly she lowered her head and then finally, finally the tip of her tongue nudged gently against my most intimate flesh. I whimpered while her tongue moved up and down, making me shudder and tremble whenever she reached a certain area above my entrance that seemed to be way more sensitive than the rest.

"Oh sweet heaven," I cried out when I felt her shoving two of her fingers inside of me, curling them towards me belly where they rubbed against a spot that made me see lights in front of my inner eye. It felt too good, too good. In a last attempt to stiffen my moans I turned my head to the side, pressing my mouth against a pillow. My inner walls clenched around Pixie's finger and each time I thought it's going to subside she twisted her wrist a bit, adding eventually a third finger into me to join the first two in their movement, in and out and back and forth until I can't take it any longer and fall apart with her still between my legs. She planted a last final kiss against my womanly folds before she rests her head against my left thigh, trying to catch her breath again.

"I love you…all of you…so very, very much." I told her when I rolled us around on the bed, enjoying how her breasts pressed against mine. The sensitive peaks pebbled and I rolled hers against mine, gasping for surprise at the unfamiliar sensation it caused for both of us.

"My Isabella, oh my Isabella,"

"Yours…I'm yours, only yours. My heart and my body are all yours."

"Please, Isabella, touch me….oh please touch me now."

She took my hand and guided it between her legs, making my fingers brush against moist curls of soft hair. A low groan escaped her throat as I lowered my hand and circled over the area above her entrance that seemed to bring her the greatest sensation when I caressed it gently.

"Pixie?"

"Yes, Isabella?" her voice came out like a breathless whisper, almost not audible through her panting.

"When you…when you put your mouth on me…down there. How's that like?"

"Warm…a bit…like salt and honey. There aren't really words to describe it. But you don't have to pleasure me with your tongue. I would never…,"

I was kneeling between her parted thighs before I could actually think about what I was about to do. It's so wicked, so sinful…and yet so tempting in a way that I don't have a name for. My body shuddered at the memory of the pleasures her tongue has given me just minutes ago. I wanted her to feel that too, make her body tremble and convulse around my fingers.

Slowly I leaned forward, taking a deep breath, feeling how the musky scent in the air made me dizzy. My lips nudged against moist skin and I felt so bold, so incredibly bold in this moment. Pixie moaned and twisted her hands into the length of my hair to pull me closer. Hesitantly I parted my mouth and let my tongue and swirl up and down a bit, lapping up the essence that kept pouring out of her entrance. The taste was indeed slightly salty and yet…somehow sweet at the same time. Whatever it was it was her, just her, and I wanted more of it. My fingers circled around her entrance while my tongue moved faster and faster over her sensitive, overheated flesh; so warm, so wet, so needy for me to caress it with my mouth and my fingers. Her body went ridged and when I put first one, then a second finger into the pulsating warmth of her entrance she started trembling all over. I continued to stroke her gently, my touch getting lighter and lighter until the spasms around my fingers eventually stopped completely after a few minutes.

When I kissed my way up her body again, I realized that her entire skin was covered in a thin layer of deliciously salty sweat, mixing up with the sweet scent, flowery scent that was her…so her. I wanted to bottle it up to carry it with me for the rest of my life.

**XOXXOXXOXXOXOX**

Reviews are love


	17. Chapter 17

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Hi everyone. Thanks for taking the time to read my little story here. I want to apologize for not updating in so long. It's difficult to handle several stories at the same time. Hope you'll enjoy the new chapter.

****Chapter 17****

_For every promise, there is price to pay_

_(Jim Rohn)_

I swallowed hard and tried to calm myself by taking several deep breaths through my nose, hoping that my traitorous heartbeat wouldn't make me faint now.

"Isabella, aren't you feeling well, my dear?" Esme asked me worriedly, wrapping her hand around my quivering wrist.

"No, I'm fine. Thank you, Esme."

"You look so pale right now. Maybe I should ask Edward to have another look at you."

"That's very considerate of you but completely unnecessary. I'm just not used to this awful heat."

Nervously I cleared my throat and tried to suppress the trembling in my voice. I was feeling so incredibly dizzy. Did Pixie fasten my corset too tightly again? No, that couldn't be.

"I wanted to ask you a favor. Carlisle said I needed to turn to you in this because you are the one who's responsible for handling everything that involves the house slaves."

She raised one eyebrow in confusion.

"What do you want from me, my dear? Please tell me it doesn't have anything to do with this yellow nigger girl."

"No, it's not about Flower, don't worry about that. I wanted to ask you if you would agree on signing over Pixie's papers to me."

"Pixie, wasn't that the little thin thing which is working as your personal maid?"

I nodded my head and wiped a small trail of sweat pearls from my forehead with the back of my hand.

"Why would you want to own her? She basically has no worth."

"It's a personal thing."

"You and the ugly nigger girl are pretty close, aren't you?"

"She's a very loyal servant to me and I appreciate that a lot."

"Don't start trusting her too much. The blacks are sneaky and will try to lull you in just to take advantage of your kindness."

"I know, Esme but I really would like to own her. It would mean a lot to me."

"Fine, if it is that important to you, I'll do it. Just promise me to take my warning seriously. I don't want you to get hurt."

For a moment she seemed to hesitate but then she leaned forward and touched the already yellow and greenish bruise on my temple with her fingertip.

"I'm really sorry about my nephew's outburst. That wasn't how a gentleman should treat a lady, ever."

XXXX

When I made it back to my room I instantly collapsed on the bed, closing my eyes because the light somehow seemed to increase the unpleasant dizziness.

"Isabella, aren't you feeling well?" Pixie whispered, sitting down next to me on the edge of the bed. Her dainty hand touched my bare forearm and the coldness of her fingers felt amazingly pleasant against my overheated skin.

"Just a bit dizzy," I whispered, opening my eyes again to look into her worried face.

"Let me remove this corset cage then. You can't breathe properly when you have it on."

Slowly I stood up from the bed, wrapping both of my arms around the bedpost when she unbuttoned my silk dress, letting it fall down my ankles. Her hands caressed my legs before she loosened the strings of my corset. I coughed when it joined the dress on the floor and I felt unable to keep myself from starting to gasp for air too deeply. She was right. I couldn't breathe fully when I had it on. Yet I needed to wear it each single day because that was expected of a lady.

"Come, lay down a bit. You need to rest."

"I don't know why I'm so exhausted all the time." I murmured when I leaned back against the cotton sheets on the bed, resting my head against her lap.

She caressed my face with her fingertips, twisting a curl of my hair around them before she gently put it behind my ear.

"You keep thinking too much and worrying too much. That's why you are so tired."

"Of course, I'm worried. Royce will come back next week and I'm not exactly looking forward to that."

"I won't let him hurt you again. You are too precious to me to get hurt by that swine."

She leaned down and kissed my mouth tenderly, teasing my lower lip with the tip of her tongue until parted my mouth enough to let her explore the inside of it with her tongue, sending countless waves of warmth through my body each time it touched against the tip of my own tongue.

"There is nothing I can do. He's my husband."

"He doesn't deserve to be it though." she stated, taking my hand in hers. When she shoved the golden wedding band down my ring finger I wanted to protest but then the words somehow stuck in my throat and I felt unable to bring them out. Maybe because somewhere deep down inside me I knew how right it was what she was doing. My marriage was a farce and I would rather kill myself than let Royce touch me ever again.

"Do you truly love me, Isabella?"

"More than I have words."

"Then run away with me."

"Pixie, where would we go? Royce is my husband that basically makes me his property. Plus, I don't have money. We can't make it far without any of it."

XXXX

"Good Morning, Miss Isabella, isn't it a bit early for you to be up?" Bear asked me when I walked down the stairs. I wondered why he was inside the house at this time.

"I felt like going for a nice long walk in the morning air." I stated calmly hoping that he would disappear before Pixie would come out of my room with the packed bag.

Unfortunately we weren't that lucky. When Pixie rushed down the stairs she almost bumped into the giant man.

"Isn't that a bit much to take with you for a walk?"

"That's none of your damn business. Just pretend you didn't see anything."

He smirked and crossed his arms in front of his broad chest.

"How far do you think you can make it by foot? She's a lady and not used to walking far."

"It's none of your concern how far we get. Why are you in the house at all? You're not supposed to be here at all."

"I wanted to see if Miss Flower is alright. The young Mister doesn't really like it when I visit her so I can only see her when everyone in the house is sleeping."

"You like her, don't you?"

"That's none of your business, Pixie. She's off limits anyway."

I adjusted my cloak and cleared my throat nervously.

"Pixie, we need to go now."

"Miss Isabella?"

"Yes, Bear?"

"Would you want me to give you a horse? You'd get much further on four legs than on just two. You know how to ride, don't you?"

I nodded my head, feeling Pixie stiffen next to me. She was terribly afraid of horses but I knew that he was actually right. I couldn't walk that far. When I would fall down and twist an ankle or something she wouldn't be able to carry me. I was too heavy for her.

"We'll take the horse." I told him, taking Pixie's hand to squeeze it gently in an attempt to calm her nerves.

He guided us over to the stables as soon as we were outside. It was still dark but the sky was already beginning to turn into a purple color. The air was cold and damp, making me shiver slightly when he helped me up on the huge brown mare.

"She's pretty tame. It shouldn't be too difficult for you to handle her."

"Do you think it is really necessary to go by horse? This one looks as if it could eat my entire arm at once."

"I bet you wouldn't taste that good to her."

With that he lifted her up behind me on the horse where she instantly wrapped her around my waist.

Bear slapped the backside of the poor animal and she started to move, way too soon for my personal liking. I hadn't been on a horse in months but after a few minutes I managed to get used to the shaking underneath me.

"Are you afraid?" I asked Pixie when I realized that she was completely silent behind me, only her warm breathe against my neck telling me that was still there.

"Yes, I am. This horse is evil."

"No, it's not. It's actually one of the calmest ones I've ever ridden."

"My back starts hurting from all this up and down. Have we to go all the way to the North on that awful animal?"

"No, we don't. We'll take a train."

"A train?"

"Don't tell me you are afraid of those too. Pixie, you really don't need to be scared. I won't let anything happen to you."

"Promise?"

"I do. You and I, we will be together forever and…,"

A single shoot filled the air and it managed to frighten the horse so much that Pixie and I landed flat on the ground.

"Did you hurt yourself?" I asked her worriedly, rubbing my left wrist and elbow that were throbbing painfully now.

"Don't move!" a deep voice instructed and when I saw the grinning figure of Tracker appearing behind a tree an almost unbearable urge of fear went down my spine, making every single hair on my body stand up. I pulled Pixie's quivering body closer to mine, trying to think of a good excuse why the two of us had been up at this early time.

"Mr. Tracker, what are you doing here?"

"Miss Isabella, can you try to stand up?" he asked me overly sweetly, reaching out his hand for me. I hesitated for a moment before I took it to let him help me up.

"Thank you." I mumbled my trembling voice so low that it was barely audible.

"You should thank me even more for preventing you to get in trouble with this malicious nigger girl here. She lulled you in. I knew she would."

Then he turned to Pixie directly and his voice turned from friendly to threatening aggressive.

"Stand up, you little piece of scum before I make you! This will have consequences! When I'm through with you, you won't be able to lie on your back for an entire month. What did you tell your Mistress?"

He grabbed her roughly by her arm and pulled her up.

"Sir, I didn't…,"

"Keep your stupid mouth shut! Didn't I tell you I'd be having a special eye on you?"

"Mr. Tracker, please let go of her. She hasn't done anything."

"Oh Miss Isabella, the nigger witch managed to lull you in so much, that you don't even want to see it anymore. Did she tell you to trust her? That the two of you would be friends or something like that? Let me tell you something, Missy, trusting niggers will never lead to anything good."

"If I trust or don't trust, my slave girl is none of your concern, Mr. Tracker. Now leave us alone."

"I'm afraid that's not possible. The two of you have passed the borders. That makes her a refugee and we tend to punish things like that pretty strictly."


	18. Chapter 18

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

****Chapter 18****

_The moment a man claims a right to control the will of a fellow being by physical force, he is at heart a slaveholder_

_(Henry C. Right)_

"Please, oh please, let her go, Mr. Tracker. She didn't do anything wrong. Oh, please, please."

He frowned, and continued adjusting Pixie's quivering hands to the wooden stake, leaning closer to run his palm down her neck until I grabbed her hair so roughly that she cried out in pain.

"She is my property and I'm not allowing for her to be punished unnecessarily. Let her go, Mr. Tracker, I beg on you."

"Miss Isabella, just go back inside the house. This is nothing a lady should witness."

Edward and Carlisle both rushed out of the house and I almost instantly fell down on my knees, twisting my hands into the thick fabric of Carlisle's jacket.

"Oh please, tell him to let her go."

"Tracker, what the hell is going on here?"

"I caught the little black witch crossing the borders. She obviously talked the young Miss into letting her free or something like that."

"Isabella!"

"He's lying. This isn't her fault. I talked her into coming with me. Please, Carlisle, tell him to let her go."

"She's right father. Order Tracker to put the whip away, he'd be able to kill her with it."

"Son, I know that you don't like how we handle these sorts of things on Twilight. Your cousin is way more understanding in that. He agrees with me that severe punishment is the only way to keep the slaves in line."

"Pixie is mine! You have no right to hurt her. Please, I beg on you. Let her go."

"Technically she's your husband's property now, not yours. As his wife all that is yours becomes his, didn't you know that?"

I cringed and when I tried to speak up again not a single word escaped my mouth although my lips opened and closed several times.

"Edward, bring her back inside the house now so we can get the whole ugly procedure behind us."

"My father is right, come with me Isabella. You look as if you are about to faint any moment."

He placed his hand on my shoulder and helped me up again. I tried to protest, because I didn't want to leave her alone with Tracker.

I heard the ripping of clothes behind me when Edward tried to guide me to over to the porch, back inside the house where I wouldn't be able to hear or see anything.

Then the sound of the whip slapping against bare skin followed by a shrill, hysterical scream filled the air and I turned around on my heels.

"No, Isabella. Don't go back there."

I shook of his hand and rushed back, feeling my stomach starting to heave when I smelled the rusty blood in the air.

Another stroke of the whip reached my ears and the tortured cry for help that escaped Pixie's mouth a heartbeat later made the blood in my veins freeze to ice.

"Isabella! Oh…oh please, please help me. Isabella! Isabella!"

Tracker stroked her a third time and this time she didn't scream, she just whimpered like a wounded animal that was about to die.

I grabbed Tracker's arm and tried to stop him when he lifted the whip again, almost ending up with the disgusting thing in my face.

"Stop! Stop right now, you're killing her!"

He grinned and licked his lips before he wiped some sweat from his forehead. His breath came out raggedly and for a moment I wondered if whipping was that exhausting for him. Then I realized that he looked beyond excited, almost…aroused. Could it actually be that he enjoyed torturing her? How disgusting could one man be?

"Tracker, it's enough. Remove the shackles and leave. You have already made more damage here than necessary. You are a sick man who is obsessed with hurting other human beings. I hate you. I hated you even when I was just a little boy. Now get out of my eyes!"

Tracker chuckled slightly and removed the shackles, making Pixie collapse on the ground where she instantly curled up in a ball.

I kneeled down next to her and tried to place her head in my lap. There was blood, so much blood and when I dared to take a look at the bare skin on her back I had to swallow back a bit of acid in my mouth.

I pulled out my tissue in order to clean the wounds but Edward wrapped his hand around my wrist to stop me.

"Don't touch the skin, you'll get dirt in the wound and it will start to ulcerate."

Then he turned to Pixie, his voice sounding concerned but yet there was an angry undertone in it that I didn't like one tiny bit.

"Why did you try to run away? How could you try to do something so completely stupid?"

She whimpered and I tried to help her to stand up again what was difficult because her entire body was trembling so much.

XXXXX

"Can you hold her still while I try to clean the wounds?" he asked me worriedly, pressing a cloth against a bottle with a light brownish liquid.

"I will. Is that alcohol? That will burn like fire on her row flesh. Is this really necessary?"

He nodded his head and sighed deeply.

"It will hurt but when I get the wounds clean it will heal much better."

I sat down on the chair next to the bed and took both of Pixie's dainty hands in mine.

"Ouch….oh my god…tell him to stop…,"

"It will soon be over, little one. Yell if you feel like it, no one will hear you apart from us."

I squeezed her hands so tightly that my own knuckles turned white. She didn't scream but continued whimpering until Edward added some sort of disgustingly smelling salve on her harmed skin.

"I take another look at you tomorrow. Don't try to run away again. You wouldn't get far with those injuries of yours."

"Yes….sir."

I leaned down and wiped some tears from her cheeks. My fingertips brushed gently over her mouth and for a split second I forget that we weren't alone.

"If he'd killed you, I couldn't have lived with it. It's entirely my fault that he whipped you. Everything is my fault."

"It's not. Isabella…I….oh…Isabella…how much I love you…how much,"

I kissed her forehead and pulled a blanket over her body before I stood up from the chair I had been sitting on. When I walked out of the tiny room I almost stumbled over the hem of my dress.

"Be careful." Edward told me, wrapping his arms around my middle to keep me upright.

"I try. Is she going to be alright? Please, tell me she will. She needs to be alright. She…,"

"What in heaven's name is going on between the two of you?"

"Nothing, Edward. I'm just worried about her well-being."

"You are more than worried. I can see it in your face whenever you speak of her."

"It's none of your concern. Look, I'm truly grateful for your help but neither you nor any other person would be able to grasp what is between me and her."

"Isabella, do you know what you're getting yourself into?"

XXXX

I held my breath while Flower tightened the strings of my corset. She was very tight-lipped this morning and I realized that she still had bruises underneath her eyes. As if she hadn't slept properly in a very long time.

"Miss Isabella?"

"Hmm?"

"What would you like to wear today?"

"I don't care. Pixie always chooses the dress for me."

She raised one eyebrow and walked over to my closet, pulling a pale yellow dress out that she lifted over my head. With quick, skilled movements she closed the buttons on my back. Then she made me sit down on the chair in front of my mirror and brushed through my hair, adjusting a yellow silk ribbon around it.

"You obviously didn't listen to my warning, Miss Isabella."

"Pardon me? I don't know what you're talking about, Flower."

She cleared her throat and stepped back, pouring me a glass of lemonade from a mug that was standing on the tray she had brought up from the kitchen.

"I think you know pretty fine what I'm talking about, Miss. You and Pixie are close, too close actually."

"You're assuming things that aren't really there. This is beyond ridiculous."

Her fingertips pulled my hair over my right shoulder, exposing a reddish mark on my neck.

"That was she and not your husband, wasn't she?"

"Don' tell anyone. Royce would…,"

"I know and I wasn't going to tell anyone, don't worry about that."

"Then why did you bring it up at all?"

"Well, maybe because I want to understand it. How's that like to be that close to another woman?" she whispered, wrapping a thin silk scarf around my neck to cover the mark.

I hesitated. It was way too risky to let her in this secret. My eyes filled with tears because suddenly I felt so incredibly ashamed.

"I love her. When I see her it's like there are tons of dancing butterflies in my stomach. I never, ever felt like that before. She's just everything to me and I am to her as well."

"But you are both women. It's unnatural somehow."

"I know but still it makes my entire body tingle from head to toe when I think about kissing her."

"You let her kiss you…like on the lips?"

"Flower, you are making me feel awkward. It's inappropriate to talk about this anyway."

"I want to understand. Would you kiss me too?"

"No! Why would I?"

"I am prettier than her."

"But you are not her. I love her not because she's beautiful, although she is to me, very much to tell the truth. It's the way she is able to make me feel so…whole kind of that makes me love her."

"What are you going to do when Royce comes back?"

"What are you going to do?" I asked her back, my voice nothing but a nervous whisper.

"Edward will make sure that he doesn't come near me again. He and Bear both seem to almost look forward for him to slip. I know my brother would have scruple actually killing his cousin. But as for Bear…if I were your husband I would watch my back very carefully. He told me that people have accidents with horses all the time. No one can prevent them from getting trampled over or something like that."

I took the glass of lemonade and sipped hesitantly on it. It tasted way too tart for my taste and my empty stomach suddenly cramped.

"That's disgusting. Didn't you put any sugar in it?"

"Of course I did. Well actually the cook made the lemonade but I'm sure she used the same recipe as always."

I took another gulp of it, just to make sure. Unfortunately that didn't seem to be a very good idea according to my stomach. With a low groan I buried my face into the washbowl to throw up lemonade mixed up with bitter stomach acid. When the cramps finally stopped I stumbled backwards, sitting down on the edge of my bed.

"I don't know what's wrong with me. Can you just open the window and let some fresh air in? It's like I can't breathe anymore."

She nodded her head and opened the window while I leaned back against the cool pillows. When I pressed one of them against my face I realized that it still smelled a bit like Pixie. God, how much I missed her sleeping here next to me.

"How long have you been feeling like this?"

"I've felt dizzy for a few days but that just comes from wearing my corset all the time. As for being sick…this was the first time."

"And it won't be the last." She stated, handing me a wet cloth to wipe my overheated face.

"What do you mean?"

She seemed to hesitate for a moment but then she placed my hand on my flat abdomen, forcing her lips into the smallest attempt of a smile.

"Well, I'm not completely sure of course. But it could be that you are carrying a child in your womb."


	19. Chapter 19

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Another update for you my lovely readers, hope you'll enjoy. Leave me some review love if you want to.

****Chapter 19****

_Once you choose hope, anything is possible_

_(Christopher Reeve)_

I added some more of the disgustingly smelling salve on my hands before I carefully smeared it all over the ugly reddish wounds on her back. Each time my fingertips brushed her harmed skin she whimpered slightly, pressing her face against the pillow underneath her.

"I can't tell you enough how sorry I am about this. It broke my heart to stand there and let this monster torture you."

"It's not your fault. That's just how things are like."

I leaned down and kissed the tiny scar behind her ear before I carefully pulled the blankets over her again. She shivered a bit and I hoped that she wouldn't get fever or something close to that. If she got sick now it could be fatal for her.

"You are still in pain. I'm going to ask Edward to give you some more laudanum."

"I don't want any more of it. When I take that I can't think properly."

"You are supposed to rest and not to think."

My eyes caught the vase with the beautiful pink peony flowers in it.

"Those are lovely." I whispered, taking one of the delicate flower petals between my fingers to crumble it between them.

"I know. Texas brought them here earlier. He thinks I'm stupid because I tried to run away without him and then I told him to go and dig himself a hole. I don't want to run away with someone who's not quit right in his head."

I sat down on the edge of the bed and caressed the shell of her ear with my fingertip before I leaned down again to kiss her cheek.

"Didn't you tell me that you don't think him crazy?"

"He said…well, he said that when they whip you…you don't feel anything after the first stroke but that's nonsense. I felt each single one of them. God, I can still feel them and I can still hear Trackers groans in my neck."

I took both of her hands in mine and planted several feather light kisses all over her palms. I loved her so much and it hurt me deeply that I hadn't been able to prevent her from getting punished so cruelly. I would gladly endure Royce's disgustingly attempts of forcing me to endure my so-called wifely duties when it just meant to keep _her_ safe.

"You don't look too good yourself." she mumbled when she shifted her body a bit to the side so that her head rested in my lap now.

"I'm fine, just a bit dizzy."

"You've been feeling dizzy for several days now. Are you sure that everything is okay with you?"

I swallowed hard and for a moment I hesitated before I spoke up again.

"Flower thinks, it could be that I'm with child."

Her dark eyes narrowed for a moment but then she turned her head and pressed her lips against the fabric of my dress.

"Hopefully that means Mr. Royce will keep his filthy paws off of you from now on. The only person on earth that I hate more than him is Tracker."

"I hate him too. Tracker I mean. If he ever comes near you again, if he ever just dares so much as to look at you in this disgusting way he looked at you yesterday, I will personally kill him."

"Isabella, I already told you there isn't anything we can do about that. I'm a slave; he's the slave master that means it's his job to punish me."

"When you say it like that it sounds almost as if you think you deserved what happened."

"In a way I do."

"No…,"

She took my hand to blow a soft kiss over my knuckles before she turned my hand around and started rubbing small circles all over my pulse point.

"I broke all the rules. Suggesting that we should run away together was the stupidest thing I've ever done in my life."

"No, it wasn't. Well, in a way it was but it also proves how much you care about me."

"I love you, Isabella."

I circled my fingertip over her bare forearm.

"I…l..o..ve you too." she whispered when she recognized the letters.

"Yes, I do, so very much. It would have been so wonderful if we had managed to get away."

"Have you ever been to the North?"

"Once with my father when I was still a child. I don't remember much about it though."

"I wished we could go there. Not because I want to be free so badly but because when we'd managed to get there it would be just the two of us."

I cupped her face between my hands and leaned down to kiss her. My lips brushed against hers as gently as possible. She was still hurting and I didn't want to cause her any more unnecessary pain.

"Why do you love me back?" she whispered tiredly when I pulled back from the kiss a few moments later.

"What?"

"Why do you love me back, Isabella?"

I kissed her again and took her hand in mine to place it right on my heart, making her able to feel the ragged beating against her fingertips through the silk fabric of my dress.

"I don't really know why I love you, maybe because you really see me, maybe because you always listen to what I say. In my entire life I have been told to do what others expect me to do, whether it was as a daughter, as a lady or as a wife. But with you, it's like I can always be myself. You complete me."

XXXX

"How's the little nigger girl doing?" Esme asked Edward while she sipped on the glass of red wine in her hands. I didn't feel hungry at all but still I forced myself to eat at least a tiny bit of the vegetables on my plate.

"She's going to be alright, Mother. But maybe you should better ask Isabella about her healing process. She has spent almost the entire morning in the same room with her."

His voice was friendly but still there was a bitter hint in his words, as if he didn't like it one tiny bit that I would still spend so much time with Pixie. Could it be that he was jealous?

"I'm very concerned about Pixie's health. What Tracker did to her was just cruel."

"What happened was her very own fault. Why did she try to run away?"

"She did not try to…,"

"Oh Isabella, my dear, there is no need to get all agitated. Aren't you feeling well? You are so pale and you have barely eaten anything."

"Firstly, of course, I'm agitated about the ugly incident."

"What would you suggest as an appropriate punishment for a slave who tries to run away? What do you think would happen if we let all of them escape? Would you like to go out and pick cotton yourself instead of them?"

"Father, please don't speak so rudely to her. She's actually right. What Tracker did to that poor girl was disgusting. It gives that man some kind of perverted joy to torture female slaves."

"Edward, this is hardly a topic to discuss in the presence of ladies."

"Yes, father. Mother, I apologize for bringing it up."

I closed my eyes for a moment and tried to continue breathing in as deeply as it was possible with my corset still on. My stomach cramped and I had to swallow back some more acid in my mouth.

"Isabella, dear, aren't you feeling well?"

"It's nothing. Maybe, I should go outside for a few moments to get some fresh air."

Slowly I stood up from my chair and wiped my mouth on my napkin.

"Edward, please go with her to make sure she doesn't faint and hurt herself."

XXXX

As soon as we were outside I felt a lot better. Unfortunately some nasty scent reached my nose and my nervous stomach reacted to it almost instantly. I leaned forward to throw the tiny bit of food I had managed to eat up again over the green grass at the left side of the wide garden.

"Isabella?"

"I'm fine, Edward. My stomach is just a bit overly nervous right now. Hopefully that will pass in a few weeks."

He pulled a tissue out of his jacket and wiped it carefully over my sweat-covered face.

"You are going to have Royce's son, aren't you?"

"Can you already see it?" I asked him, staring down at my flat abdomen.

"No, I can't and please don't mention to my poor mother that I know. She would think it highly inappropriate that I would talk with this about this."

"I won't tell her about it. Can I ask you something? How can you tell that I'm with child although you can't see it yet?"

"I'm a doctor, that means I'm used to paying attention to people's well-being more than others and secondly…,"

"Yes, Edward."

"I can tell because when my Angela…I mean when she became with child it was the same with her. She could barely eat at all but her stomach didn't seem that interested in keeping the food down."

His mouth curved into a smile when he held his arm out to me.

"Come, take a walk with me. There is something that I would like to show you."

I placed my hand on his arm and let him guide me through the entire garden until we reached an old oak tree behind the hedge of beautiful roses.

The grey stone was already starting to be covered in greenish moss. He kneeled down and moved his fingers gently over the marble.

"Isn't that weird? If she would still be alive, today would have been our anniversary."

"Oh Edward, I'm very sorry to hear that. I'm sure it must have been hard."

His voice was almost lifeless when he spoke up again.

"You have no idea. People say that time is a great healer but that's not true. It still hurts just as much as it did on the first day after she died."

"How was she like?"

"Kind, she was so kind. Angela cared about everyone and everything apart from herself. When our fathers decided that the two of us should get married her greatest fear was whether their decision would upset me."

"But it didn't? You loved her. I can see that in your eyes whenever you speak of her."

"Yes, I did. More than I ever thought I could. She gave my soul a peace that I had never expected to find."

"I'm sorry about your loss."

"Thank you. That's very considerate of you."

He took my hand to blow a kiss over my knuckles.

"I think, I told you to stay the hell away from him!"

I turned around and before I could even blink Royce shoved me away from Edward so that I stumbled over the gravestone.

A sharp pain went through my lower body and automatically my hands moved down on my abdomen. I hissed though my teeth and tried to stand up again which was difficult because somehow me legs seemed suddenly way too weak to keep me upright.

"Royce, try to compose yourself. You can't go on treating your wife like this."

"How I treat my wife is none of your concern, cousin. Now step away from her and let me bring her back inside the house so that I can show Isabella where her place is."

"No, you need to calm down first and probably get sober."

"Step away!"

"NO!"

The gardener appeared, carrying a pile of wood in his arms that he dropped instantly when he saw the two of them glaring at each other.

"Step the hell away now, Edward. You are just as stupid as your sister the stupid nigger whore."

Royce reached forward but just when he was about to grab my arm again, he sank down to his knees and blood trickled down on the hem of my dress, covering it in crimson colored streaks when my husband coughed and groaned against the silk fabric. I smelled the rust, the sweat and then eventually everything became too much for my mind and it allowed me to escape into numb darkness.


	20. Chapter 20

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] I want to apologize for taking so long to get this new chapter out. Creativity is such a weird, complicated thing. I don't feel very confident about my writing at the moment. Thanks to those of you, who are always so incredibly supportive and encouraging about my work. It really means way more to me than I can tell you.

****Chapter 20****

_Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves_

_(Abraham Lincoln)_

Pain, almost unbearable pain very much like that I felt each time my monthly bleeding started spread through my lower abdomen. When I tried to sit up it increased and some low whimpering sounds reached my ears, making me wonder for a moment where that sound was coming from until I realized that I was the one making it.

"She's waking up, Edward. That's a good sign, isn't it? Miss Isabella, can you hear me?"

I felt a wet cloth being pressed against my face and after a few seconds I managed to open my heavy eyelids enough to blink into Flower's beautiful caramel face.

"What happened?" I whispered, wondering why I felt so incredibly weak that I could barely manage to form words.

"Everything is going to be fine." Edward told me, gently placing two cold fingers against my right wrist for a few moments.

"I don't feel like everything is fine. It's hurting…god, it's hurting so much. What happened?"

"Flower, go down into the kitchen and tell them to make some broth for her. She needs to eat something."

Flower nodded her head and walked out of the room. I sighed and tried to sit up again.

"Please, don't try to move now. You need to lay as still as possible. Do you think you can do that, Isabella?"

He sat down on the edge of the bed, making it squeak underneath him when he pulled the blankets off of me. I felt a shiver of panic running down my spine and although it was more than painful I sat up straight in the bed, trying to press my body against the wooden frame as much as possible.

"No! Oh, please, no!"

"Shhh, try to compose yourself. I wasn't going to…well, I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable but I have to make sure that you have stopped bleeding."

"If you touch me inappropriately I will scream as loud as I can." I told him, tying to stand up from the bed although my legs felt way too weak to be able to carry my weight.

"Isabella, please, I'm just trying to help you…as a doctor."

"I still don't wish for you to touch me…ever."

"God, what in heaven's name did he do to you that you are so fearful now? No, please, don't tell me. I don't need any more reason to hate him than I already have."

Flower returned placing a tray with a bowl filled with steaming hot broth on the small nightstand next to the bed.

"She's white like a ghost."

"She doesn't want me to have a look at her. I need to make sure she has stopped bleeding."

"I could do that, if you told me how to."

"Bleeding? Why should I be bleeding? What happened?"

"I'm afraid you lost the child you were carrying when you fell."

Automatically my hands moved down on my flat stomach. The baby hadn't even begun to feel real to me and so I couldn't bring myself to feel much grief for it. What worried me way more was the reaction of my husband. Royce would be completely furious with me when he'd find out I lost his precious heir. Plus it meant that I would have to endure my so called wifely duties again until I would become with another child. The thought instantly brought tears to my eyes.

"Royce," whispered. "Does he already know?"

"You haven't told her yet?" Flower asked Edward who put a brownish liquid into a glass of water.

"Drink,"

It was awfully bitter and I wrinkled my nose in disgust.

"All of it. It's going to help against the pain and will help you to sleep a bit."

I swallowed the rest down, wiping my mouth at the back of my hand before I spoke up again.

"Edward, we need to tell her. She needs to know."

"Tell me what?"

Edward cleared his throat nervously, his eyes staying focused on the blankets that were wrapped around my body. For some reason I felt incredibly cold now and when Flower realized I started to shiver she placed another blanket over my legs.

"I'm very sorry, Isabella."

"About what? The child I lost? Won't I be able to carry another one?"

"No, it hasn't got anything to do with that. I'm sorry, Isabella, but we have to tell you that you husband has deceased."

"Royce is dead? He is dead?" I called out, already feeling the tears falling down my cheeks. I wasn't crying because I mourned my husband but because suddenly I felt so incredibly relieved. He was gone, actually gone and he would never be able to harm me again.

XXXX

I barely managed to remain standing at the open grave in front of me. My eyes stayed dry but no one was going to notice it with the heavy rain that kept pouring down on us. Esme sobbed next to me and grabbed my arm so tightly that it was almost painful. Finally the awful funeral service for my late husband was over and we went back inside the house.

When I started shivering, Pixie wrapped a thick muffler over my shoulders.

"You need to change into some dry clothes, my Miss."

I nodded my head and excused myself, following her up the stairs to my room. As soon as we were inside and had closed the door behind us, she hugged me tightly against her dainty body.

"I missed you so much. We barely had any alone time since they started preparing that devil's funeral."

She started unbuttoning my dress, helping me to step out of the wide crinoline a few moments later. When I felt her warm, soft lips against my neck I sighed deeply and turned my head. I cupped her face between my hands and planted a soft kiss on her sweet mouth, letting the tip of my tongue caress her lower lip until she opened her mouth enough to let me explore the inside of it. Our tongues toyed against each other and I whimpered slightly when I felt her right hand massaging my cleavage in soft circles. The sensitive tip of my breast hardened when her fingertips brushed gently over it.

"We have to stop."

"I don't want to stop."

"I know, me too, but they expect me back down in a few minutes. Can you help me to put on that other black dress?"

"Don't you want to wear something else? Black makes you look so sickish."

"I'm a widow now. That means I have to dress all in black at least for a couple of years."

"You shouldn't be forced to visually mourn this awful man."

She pulled the dress over my head and caressed my bare shoulder blades with her fingers before she closed the dress. Then she made me sit down in front of the mirror and brushed through my hair before she twisted it into a tight knot in my neck.

"I love you so very much, Isabella."

"I love you too. More than words could ever say."

I kissed her again, caressing her cheekbone tenderly before I left the room to join the other mourners down in the hall.

Edward handed me a glass with peach liquor and I sipped hesitantly on it.

"I'm very sorry, Isabella."

"You don't have to be. It was an accident. Wasn't it?"

"Of course, it was an accident. I'm mostly sorry because you lost the child. You would have made a wonderful mother."

"Thank you. I'm not that sure about that. Have they found Texas yet?"

"No, they haven't. It's like he's disappeared from the earth."

"I hope they catch that crazy nigger soon." Jessica stated, wiping her eyes with a handkerchief.

"How dare he try to lay a hand on a white man? God, I'm so glad that Edward bought him off from Michael."

"He probably didn't know what he was doing. All this wiping your brother forced on him in order to break his will has probably made him confused in the head."

"As far as I remember that's an absolutely acceptable way to punish stubborn niggers."

"See, Jessica, that's why you and I would never make a good couple. Our opinions about the essential morals in life differ too much."

She frowned and rushed away, leaving me alone with him in a corner of the hall.

"You blamed the poor man for what happened to Royce?"

"Not really. People kind of assumed it. I just didn't object their assumptions."

"I see. What will happen to Texas when Tracker finds him?"

"He won't. Tracker isn't looking for him. I fired that man and now he's working on another plantation somewhere in Georgia."

"That's good to hear. I wouldn't want him here. Pixie's scars are still visible. She's probably going to have them for the rest of her life."

"You and the girl are still so unnaturally close, aren't you?"

"I wished you'd understand. I wished you could understand what I see in her. What she is to me and what I am to her as well."

XXXX

"Are you sure that you don't want to stay here, my dear?" Esme asked me when she hugged me in front of the open carriage.

"I think a new start will be good for me. I always wanted to live in a big city. Chicago will be like an exciting adventure for me…kind of."

"Write us in case you might need anything, Isabella." Carlisle stated when he helped me inside the carriage.

"Thank you, for everything. Also that you signed over Pixie's paper to me. It means a lot."

"Oh my dear, it was the least thing we could do. We would have given you another slave to go with you in case you wanted one."

"I won't need anyone else assistance but I'm practically helpless without my maid."

"I see. Have a safe journey, my dear. Oh before I forget. Edward gave this to me before he went hunting this morning."

She handed me the sealed letter and Bear closed the door behind us.

"What did the young Mister write to you?" Pixie asked me curiously, leaning closer towards me in the carriage. I ripped the envelope open and unfolded the letter on my lap.

_Dear Isabella,_

_I should have been present for your goodbye but I felt like this would be a more appropriate way of saying farewell. When I lost my wife I thought that I could never feel anything for another woman. Forgive me for being too forward but it's because of you that I know different now. If there could ever be another woman I would consider spending the rest of my life with, it would be you Isabella. _

_The problem is that I know you don't feel that way and I wouldn't want to suggest you on agreeing into a marriage of...should I call it convenience?_

_Love is so very rare to find in this world, so I think we could be grateful for it, in which way god decides to give it to us._

_I admire your courage of deciding to open a school in Chicago. You will be a wonderful teacher, I'm sure about that._

_Let me know should you ever need anything, no matter what._

_Yours sincerely,_

_Edward A. Cullen_

"He has designs on you. I knew it."

"No, he hasn't and even if he does. It doesn't matter for I don't have the slightest interest in getting married again. I like being a free woman who is able to make her own decisions."

She took my hand and planted several kisses all over my glove covered knuckles.

"You are the bravest person I've ever met."

The carriage stopped and Bear helped me to step outside before he unloaded our luggage, lifting the suitcases up on the baggage car. Pixie grabbed the fabric of my skirt fearfully when the train roared loudly.

"There is no need to be afraid. Everything will be alright."

We said goodbye to Bear, and entered the train, sitting down in an empty cabin. I pulled my gloves down my hands and rubbed my fingers against each other.

"This train is frightening. It's so loud and I guess it will shake terribly when it's moving."

"Come here. Didn't I already tell you not to be fearful? I won't let anything bad happen to you, ever."

She sat down next to me and helped me to loosen my cape, making the small grey letter fall down on the ground.

"What's that?"

I sighed deeply and picked it up again, inhaling deeply through my teeth when the metal strings of my corset cut into my skin. The first thing I would do in Chicago was burn the damn thing. Burn the damn thing…

"That's your slave letter. See, there's your name written down there and here it says that you are my property."

"I'm glad that I belong to you now and no one else. I want to be with you for the rest of my life."

I pulled her closer and kissed her mouth, feeling her heartbeat against my own chest. There weren't any words that would ever be able to tell her how much she meant to me. How much she would always mean to me. Maybe sometimes words just weren't good enough.

"You and I, we belong together forever." I whispered breathlessly when I pulled back from the kiss.

Then I took the small letter and ripped it into several small pieces.

"No! What in heaven's name are you doing, Isabella? You can't destroy my slave letter."

"I can do with your slave letter however it pleases me." I told her, standing up to throw the snippets into the small fireplace where they instantly turned into grey ash.

"Why did you do that? I need a slave letter! I need…,"

"No, you don't." I whispered, taking both of her hands in mine to rub circles over her wrists

"No one will ever hurt you. I love you so much, so very much. I want you to stay with me because of my love for you, not because you are forced to it by some piece of paper."

"Oh, Isabella, where would I ever go without you? Don't you know you are the love of my life?"

She wrapped her arms around my waist and pulled me close against her chest where I inhaled the sweet cinnamon scent of her skin. I pressed my lips against the fabric of her dress while her fingertips caressed my hair, massaging my scalp in smooth circles. And right then, while she held me in her arms, the two of us were finally free at last.


	21. Chapter 21

[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to SM

[A/N] There is no point in trying to explain to you how my brain works like. I was doing some research for another story and somehow ended up writing this little epilogue here. I hope you'll enjoy reading it.

_****Alice****_

_Words have meanings and names have power_

_(Author Unknown)_

The strings of her corset cut into my palms as I pull another time, forcing her already delicate waist to narrow about two inches more. A low gasp escapes her mouth and I lean forward to kiss the bare skin on her shoulder.

"Are you sure, it's not too tight? You can barely breathe with how tight I laced you."

"I shall be fine, Alice." she whispers turning her head so that she can touch her soft lips against mine. Warmth spreads through me and when I deepen the kiss by pushing my tongue into the sweet heat of her mouth I'm in heaven.

"I'm sorry, we can't. Mr. Crowley will be here any minute to pick me up. Can you help me put my dress on now, the yellow one?"

"The brown one would be better, _Miss_."

"It makes me look like a nun and please stop calling me, Miss. It makes me feel like you are angry at me."

"I'm sorry," I mutter, grabbing the yellow silk dress from the Closet. With quick movements I close the buttons on her back before carefully flattening the hem with my fingertips. She looks beautiful tonight and the thing is I don't want her to. Not tonight.

She cups my face between her hands to make me look up at her again.

"Alice? You are not seriously jealous of that man again. Please, he's just a friend."

A friend who wants to get his paws underneath her petticoats, I think, forcing my mouth into a half faced smile.

"Hey, you know that I love you, you and only you. It makes me sad that you don't seem to trust me."

"I do trust you. I don't trust that Yankee. He has designs on you."

"He is helping me to raise money for the school and we really need some more of it."

"You could write Mister Edward to send us some more."

"I can't do that again. We need start dealing with things by ourselves. It has been two years now."

"I'm sure he wouldn't mind."

"Yes, most likely, he wouldn't mind but still, I don't want his help."

"It's better Mister Edward helping us than the Yankee." I snarl through my teeth, helping her step inside her white leather boots.

"Alice, I warn you. When Mr. Crowley comes here and you'll be rude to him again…,"

"You can't tell me to be nice to anyone. I'm not your slave anymore."

"Sweetheart, please, let's not fight again. I'm tired of it. I love you. I shall never love anyone as much as I love you. I'm not planning of ever re-marrying again and Mr. Crowley knows of that."

"What he knows and what he hopes for are two different things."

The doorbell downstairs goes and I plant another kiss on her mouth, enjoying the blush that covers her cheekbones a heartbeat later.

"Evening, Mr. Crowley," I greet him coldly, crossing my arms in front of my chest.

"Evening, Pix…oh I'm sorry, I tend to forget that you prefer to be called Alice now. Is Mrs. King ready to go?"

"I have a feeling she's close to come down with a sudden indisposition. Maybe it would be better if she stayed home tonight."

Isabella walks down the stairs and unfortunately she doesn't look one tiny bit sickish.

"It's a pleasure to see you, Mrs. King."

"Thank you, Mr. Crowley."

"Oh please, I've asked you so often to call me Tyler now."

"And she has told you almost as often that it is not appropriate."

He chuckles and I taste a bit of vomit in my mouth that I have to swallow back my dry throat.

"It's so amusing how your maid is trying to defend your honor, Mrs. King."

Isabella sighs and I wrap her coat around her shoulders, before adjusting my own.

"That's her way of showing that she cares about me."

"A lot of people care about you, my dear Mrs. King. If you'd just open your heart a bit more, you could be so happy."

I'm starting to wonder how difficult it can be to secretly murder this sleaze ball in his sleep. I hate the way he keeps drooling over her cleavage whenever he thinks she's not watching him.

But I get it that she can't just spend every moment alone with me. We need more money for the school and I wished it wouldn't be so difficult for me to find a job that would bring in some extra money.

I don't know why they called the Yankees nigger friends back home. No one wants us here. They say we're taking away jobs from white people but that's probably because we're willing to work for less. I would work for free from morning to night if it would help my Isabella to keep the school running. She has set her heart on this and we would most likely make enough if she wouldn't have this tendency to take in children whose parents can't bring up the school fees. She is too soft-hearted but that's why I love her so very much.

She gave me my freedom, gave me a new name and most of all she gave me her heart. That alone is more than I could ever have asked for.

"Are you planning on taking the nigger-girl with you tonight?"

"I don't wish for you to call her that. Alice needs to come with me. I can't even sit down on my own while wearing this dress."

"Well, we could find you a white maid to help you. I'm sure Miss Mallory wouldn't mind sharing her Molly with you for tonight."

I count from one to ten in my head in order to calm down again but the anger is still burning inside me so much that I feel close to exploding. My hands grab the vase next to me and when I drop it to the ground a bit of the water splatters over Crowley's trousers.

"You stupid thing," he hisses through his teeth, grabbing me roughly on my arm. "You did that on purpose. Mrs. King, I expect you to punish her for this impossible behavior. I expect you to fire her! I expect to—"

"Leave. Now." Isabella's voice is sharp like a knife but I can see how her glove covered hands are trembling. She's not going to faint now, is she?

"You are putting that nigger girl above our friendship. I can't believe that you are so stupid to do such a thing."

"I asked you to leave."

"Fine, if that's what you want but don't forget I'm a man with influence. No good family will send their daughters here so that you can ruin them."

"LEAVE!"

When he's out of the house, Isabella collapses on the stairs, pulling on the back of her dress while she's gasping for air like a fish on water.

"Let me help you."

"Can't…breathe,"

I rip the buttons open, making several of them roll all over the floor, before I try to loosen the corset underneath it. When my fingers finally manage to fumble it open, blood trickles down my palm.

"Better now?" I whisper huskily, waiting for her hectically breathing to slow down again.

"Much better, I'm just so glad you didn't throw that vase at his head."

"Because you are worried about him getting hurt or anything?"

"You are the one I'm worried about and you'll always come first, always."

She notices the blood on my hand and although I try to protest she pulls me with her into the kitchen and grabs the alcohol from the shelf. I cringe when she starts cleaning the small wound but she holds my hand so tightly in hers that I can't pull it back.

"I hate the way he talked about you, like you weren't even a real person. Things were supposed to be different here."

"I know. I'm sorry, I lost it like that."

"I know why you did it. Look, I know that the situation we're in is difficult for both of us. You need to be a bit more careful how you act when others can see us together. Nobody can know how close we are. It would be fatal if anyone should find out."

"Our secret is safe with me. You can stop worrying about it."

"Your jealousy towards every man who enters this house will get us in trouble."

I nod my head and stand up from the kitchen chair again, wrapping my arms around her shoulders from behind to kiss the sensitive spot right underneath her earlobe.

"Let's go upstairs. You are going to get cold."

My arms help her to keep her balance when we walk up the stairs to the bedroom. Officially of course, I sleep down in the kitchen like a good maid should do it. I hate that we have to keep up that façade even inside these walls that are supposed to be our home.

"I will never let anyone hurt you." she whispers, kissing my face so feather lightly that her touch feels like the caress of a butterfly's wings on my skin.

"Tell me you love me, tell me I'm the one, the only one."

I push her skirts up and circle my fingertips over the inside of her thighs, teasing her for few moments before I lower my head and start moving my tongue against her most intimate body parts. She lifts her hips, trying to get my mouth even closer to her and I enjoy how her entrance starts producing more of her sweetly essence as I swirl the tip of my tongue around the little nub above her entrance. I love pleasuring her like this, it's almost as good having her touch me.

"Not yet," she mumbles and when she pulls me back up to kiss me on my lips, I can feel her moan into my mouth.

Her hand moves under my dress and I whimper when she starts massaging my breasts through the thin cotton of my chemise. I slip two of my fingers deep inside her and start thrusting them back and forth, in and out. I guide her free hand towards my throbbing sex and when she rubs my outer lips between her fingers I can feel the beginning of my release building from deep within me. Isabella's inner muscles clamp around my fingers and a heartbeat later, the gentle caress of her fingers pushes me over the edge of my lust. I groan, pulling us around until I am right above her, wrapping my thighs around her hips.

"We'll always be together. Will we?"

"Forever, I'm yours forever. I want you to think about that the next time you are about to do something stupid. If they took you away…if something bad would ever happen to you, it would kill me."

I don't know what to answer her and so, I pull her closer against my chest, burying my nose into the silky curls of her long hair.

"You should write to Mister Edward and ask him for more money. He has enough now that the Master is dead."

"He will need his money himself now that so many slaves are running away from Twilight."

"Texas believes there'll be a war."

"Texas is not right in his head and I wished you wouldn't talk to him all the time. He's surrounding himself with people that are creepy."

"Are you the one who's jealous now?"

"I'm worried about your safety. That's not the same as being jealous."

I stroke her hair and wrap the blankets over us. When we are together like this it feels like she and I are the only two people in the world and honestly, I don't want to have it any other way.


End file.
